My loving wife spent hours on this Harry Potter broom cake for our kid and I'm a horrible husband

  1. It needs some wood grain along the shaft to make it more realistic. Maybe a thick vein running down it would help the most. The Nimbus 2000 had a bit of a curve to it too, maybe it was more like a break from someone riding it too hard.

  2. Dear lord, I can’t tell if it’s a giant penis with atrociously hairy balls, or some massive log of shit, or some kind of hybrid abomination of those things.

  3. If you think that's bad, wait until you see the picture of him jumping on that broom and riding it up into the sky...

  4. Let me say, as someone who was a pastry chef for 25 years… themed cakes can he HARD (no pun intended) What you have pictured in your head is almost never how it turns out

  5. You can’t say anything now or you’re a dead man. The time to say something is as it’s STARTING to look like a penis cake. Now we’ll all have to be silent and pretend it’s lovely! Shhhhh!

  6. My wife and I were recently discussing a cake she made 6 years ago for her nephew of Sully from Monsters Inc. Her memory of what it actually looked like and was received by guests was more positive than I remember it looked. Just happened to find a photo of it on my phone and couldn’t stop laughing… she still can’t admit it was as bad as it looked! Haha

  7. That looks good though! For someone who's profession isn't making cakes, I think this looks genuinely good. I think you're being too harsh lol

  8. When my nephew turned 8, his grandma (my mother) made him a cake and for some reason decided to make a 3D "8" on the cake... My sisters and I couldn't figure out why she had boobs on a cake for an 8 year old.

  9. In a way it looks hilarious, but the more I look at it, the more I like it. So you are right in laughing at it, and she is right in defending it.

  10. A cake is a cake. It doesn't matter how ugly it is outside, the inside is what counts. Alas, this rule works only for cakes and not for humans...

  11. Yooooooo whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! She just kept going like this might be the one hahaha. Love the effort.

  12. Even if it didn't look like a chocolate dick rocket with bristles ... at this point you just have to realize it looks like shit and get a nice, big cake from the nearest bakery!

  13. I genuinely can't comprehend how someone can get this far into a project like this without multiple alarm bells going off that they shouldn't continue or should rethink their strategy.

  14. Please tell me it didn't take hours to cut a brownie into a long strip, ice it, and then stick a bunch of pocky into the ballsack

  15. That's not a brownie, it's a lemon cake (actually 3, cut in pieces) covered with homemade chocolate fondant. The fondant had some consistency issues and was a pain to spread. That's what takes hours.

  16. Yea, maybe next year go for an owl, or a spellbook or something. Hell, what do I know, next year do a Georgia Okeefe painting cake.

  17. I just liked it because of the effort she put in 🙌🏽... Did not realize it looked like a Quiddick 🤦🏽‍♀️

  18. I saw this and I thought it was a cake representing a baseball bat with nails on it. Then I was like "Oh, it's a cock", after which I read the title.

  19. Haha if she would have just laid the ends of the sticks flat rather than like porcupines it would look so much better

  20. As bad of a husband as you may be, you're still not as bad as she is at decorating cakes. That being said, a kid will see a quidditch stick + cake + more sweets and be super stoked. Kids have terrible taste

  21. My wife really puts in the effort for this celebration and goes well beyond her usual cooking and baking (which is great in its own right). We could have just bought a themed cake, but I think it means a lot more to our family like this, regardless of a rather funny outcome this one time.

  22. Fucking up that badly takes a whole lot of effort and time. But, honestly, it also takes a lot of love. And people should remember that.

  23. I see at least 5 or 6 sections - assuming they're baking like two at a time, plus prep and decoration time, this could easily take 3-4 hours.

  24. Sorry dude but the best efforts dont cover the fact she has 0 talent for this, also if its a broom make a broom if its a dck call it a dck ...

  25. the infamous 'Turd Bolt', broom of choice for every Quidditch keeper to succesfully block the goal hoop. Thanks for sharing ... 10/10 to wifey for effort

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