I lost my weekend dog sitting job because I don't want kids

  1. It seems to me that there are some people, mainly women, who were not aware (for various reasons) that having children is not compulsory, and perhaps would have made a different choice if they could. So there’s some resentment when they are faced with CF folks, mainly women, who “get to have the life” that they wanted.

  2. Yeah I was coming up with a lot of good answers to her intrusive behaviour on my way back home and last night before sleeping :/

  3. Breeders base their entire lives on following what other people have done. When they meet a true individualist, they don't know how to act and "shortcircuit".

  4. Jealousy. Misery loves company. Breeders can't stand someone living their best life without having to be dragged down by kids.

  5. Because she's a loser who allowed herself to be led around by the nose, saw someone who took a different path, got jealous, had a hissy fit, and covered it up with a bunch of yawp about "the chiiildrennnn". It sucks, but at least you still have your freedom. And you didn't need that job to survive. She sounds like a religious nut job. Who else says "young girl" in this day and age?

  6. Mostly likely because someone put their nose up HER uterus. You either break the cycle or continue it… example of continuation

  7. This. I really could care less how people spend their life. I just like to see people happy. You are in charge of your own destiny. Find something that brings you joy and doesn’t hurt others

  8. No Catholic baggage here, but I'd almost guarantee she doesn't want her daughters to know this is an option.

  9. Yeah she caught me and my whole plan of childless indoctrination. I would definitely go play with your puppy

  10. Yes, it is. But breeder lady was probably hoping to turn her into a nanny, too, because she was so good with the dogs, and household employers love a " two for one", i.e.; someone who can multi task. Also, fewer people to hire and manage, so, cheaper.

  11. The selfish one really confuses me. Why is not having kids selfish? Having one and not doing my best to provide a good and loving life would be, for sure. But just not bringing one into the world? It implies there’s this whole line of unborn, tapping their toes, and waiting on my uterus.

  12. They always say “who’s going to take care of you when you’re older” then accuse you of being ‘selfish’ for not having kids. How contradictory can they get?

  13. They think it's selfish because you're choosing to just take care of yourself instead of taking care of a kid as well. What they fail to understand is that it is more selfish to have a kid. The kid did not choose to exist. You wanted them to exist, therefore it is a selfish decision. Furthermore, having a kid inconveniences those around you, making it an even more selfish decision.

  14. I think it might be because kids, for a significant part of their (early) life are horribly hard work, then proceed to turn into would-be psychopaths before figuring out other humans have emotions - well, they’re just hard work. They’re ignoring the fact that unselfish doesn’t necessarily equal „works hard for others with no benefits“

  15. I would have reminded her that having kids is not a surety that they’ll care for you in your old age. My oldest brother was a wild man living off the grid on the other side of the country, and was a stone alcoholic with Hepatitis C. He died at 50. My other brother has never wanted familial connections with anyone. He blames my mother for the divorce she went through to protect us from my father’s alcoholic rages. Of course, he never wanted to connect with him, either, but gives my mother no credit for taking the beatings so her children didn’t have to. Neither of my brother’s wanted kids. Neither did I.

  16. Breeders aren't smart: you can't expect intellectualism from people who base their entire lives following what most everyone else does.

  17. Maybe they assume we are denying others of the kids - like our partners, or denying our parents from being grandparents? Obviously ridiculous whatever they are thinking!

  18. I think some people go nuts when someone especially a woman decides to be child free because they ask themselves “WTF I could actually choose? There was a choice?”

  19. Honestly for the “you’re selfish” argument, reverse Uno card them and agree. Say yes your are selfish and that’s why you wouldn’t be a good parent (in one breath).

  20. Omg I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you'll feel better soon. Can't believe how shitty some people are. I am shocked at the turn of the conversation. I have many names I would call that woman... really sorry OP. She shot herself in the foot anyways. Now she has to pay for dog walking services. Some people are too stupid to know when to stop being stupid (her). Jeez...

  21. That is so strange. For starters…who has space to store items for YEARS (possibly through multiple moves) for future kids (even assuming you want them)? You aren’t currently planning on having kids, and I’m assuming these toys are for older kids anyways? So it would be a long time before they would be used. Even if you were actively trying to conceive. Crazy.

  22. I reckon she just thought that me, a full time student from out of town would just have a whole warehouse close by to store stuff for my hypothetical children

  23. Like, I’d get keeping them for nostalgia purposes? We have some very cute baby stuff in storage - me and my siblings are of age. Those used to be ours, and they were kept mostly as a „oh how cute“ with a side of „if you ever want/need to, they can be passed on“

  24. Exactly I don’t know anyone who is storing used / second hand children toys for years until they have their own. Or maybe she felt like it would be a nice thing to do to this student who she probably assumes needs the money. So assumed she may not be able to afford the toys later?

  25. I don't have a kid so I can't confirm but I think it's because they change size so quickly that you have to keep buying clothes and other contraptions, it gets expensive.

  26. Ugh that sounds so invasive and exhausting. Your desire not to have kids has nothing to do with dog sitting. Does she think you'll make the dog childfree?

  27. I think she might start including it in her interviews for new dog sitters and she'll end up pushing every candidate away which is a shame because the dogs have literally no fault in all this

  28. I love it when people try to use the ol "Who is going to take care of you in your older years?" line. I work home healthcare and hospice and I tell you hhhhhhwat, even people with numerous kids get dumped off into homes and never taken care of by their kids. The kids only interest at that point is who is going to get what and how they're going to divvy up assets and life insurance amongst themselves. Very seldom is it that I encounter kids rearranging their life and giving up everything to take care of their elderly and ailing parents.

  29. I give those people an earful from personal experience. I have been a dementia caregiver three GD times and civilians love to ignore the part where patients get hostile and violent. As a petite woman caring for a large man, there reached a point where I was no longer strong enough to do the work. You eventually need a locked keycard facility with physically powerful aides.

  30. My father was a horrible person. I acknowledge I ow him - in the legal sense - care when he’s old. No way around it - believe me, I’ve checked - and, I have to admit, fair enough - his support payments pay my rent right now. Which doesn’t mean I have to care for him. Me and my brother have talked, already, though that day is decades off - once he’ll need care, step one is finding the cheapest home available, step two will be us contesting every step of the way - there’s a minimum of our own money, if we’re below it, the state pays.

  31. I'm obviously too young to realise females are just walking uteruses and she thought I would acknowledge my life purpose with her inspirational prosecution lmao

  32. Can someone explain me that selfish argument? I just don’t seem to get it. It seems more selfish to me to bring life into the world for the sole purpose of changing your diapers once you’re old and demented

  33. For most of human history, women have been relegated to doing uncompensated labor like reproduction, childcare, and housekeeping. Now that women are able to get an education and have careers that actually compensate us for the things we contribute to society, a lot of people (mostly men) are pissed off that they have to do some of the things they used to be entitled to women doing for them for free.

  34. I don’t get it myself, but it seems that those of us who choose to live our lives the way we want is considered selfish by those who contribute to overpopulating the earth 🤷🏻‍♀️

  35. Serious answer? They believe the only unselfish thing is to sacrifice for others - that is to say, suffer or overwork yourself so someone else is happy, and never benefit from it. The kind of idea they also use to turn overwhelmed or burnt out parents into idealised „loving heroes“ as well, because why support them when you can just declare their suffering „the only true love“? Kids are, naturally, pretty horrible exhausting for years. Even if your kid is naturally empathetic and raised in a way that they genuinely WANT to offer help, at least a decade will pass before they will be able to offer any help at all that will actually be, well, helpful. Until then, you’ll basically have to care for someone entirely dependent on you, who, depending on age, isn’t able to even understand you HAVE needs and feelings, understands them instinctively and does their level best to drive you mad, or understands them but cannot do anything to help you even if they want to.

  36. That woman is gonna annoy the shit out of her own kids about having grandchildren for HER benefit & the benefit of SOCIETY.

  37. Oh god, in the modst of all this I almost didn't even think about her daughters. Goodness, that's gonna suck for them. For their own sake, I almost hope they'll turn out to want at least 2-3 kids on their own accord because otherwise, it really sounds like their mom is going to be impossible to deal with.

  38. That is really kind of you thank you <3 I will try to contact shelters close to me tomorrow! It's not about the payment really it's about spending some time with those cute fur balls

  39. I would love to but it is a very "suburban" area full of family houses. I took the bus there every Saturday to dog sit since I live near the city centre to study and work during the week

  40. I wouldn't. If people ask, tell them the truth, but don't walk around from door to door telling your story to people who didn't ask for it just to turn her neighbours against her. that's kind of low IMO. Not a desireable personality trait. Instead I would write her a physical letter explaining her that she crossed the line sticking her nose in what is not her business.

  41. Sorry you don't get to see the dogs. I kind of imagine the women at dinner that night after firing OP talking to her spouse not thinking the kids will hear telling him why she fired OP and one of the kids starts arguing/asking why is that a bad thing. Probable did not happen but it made me giggle thinking.

  42. Hahah that would be truly awesome. OP would likely have never mentioned her childfree status to the kids, let alone have it affect them. But hearing them mom speak that way sure could!

  43. Fuck her. I see why they care, because you're a woman and they imagine you're going to do exactly as most women do. But hearing a "I'm not having kids, but thanks anyway" should put a stop to that. But they double down. Triple down. That's when I get really annoyed.

  44. It was a great arrangement cause I really miss my dogs being away, but I cannot get another dog in here studying full time and working part-time during the week, it would just be negligent of me. So I had the weekends free and was just getting to be with them

  45. Damn. Feel sorry for the lady… not only did her dog-walker 1) not accept the “generosity” of her “gift” of free clutter from her house for a future that the dog-walker doesn’t want, and 2) not reaffirm through gratitude and jealousy that motherhood is the “one true path” to a “fulfilled” and “selfless” life as a woman, but 3) she just had to fire her dog-walker to “protect” her future grandchildren daughters from the dog-walker’s “selfish” influence. A bad day all around and one surely necessitating a very large glass of wine 🙄😤🍷 /s

  46. For god sakes, it’s DOG SITTING not “I want to enforce my kids on to you” sitting. Kids shouldn’t matter when it’s animals being looked after, she should be grateful someone actually watched her dogs

  47. A childfree person would be that much less likely to quit working for the employer due to family obligations, making their discrimination based on not wanting children quite shortsighted.

  48. Yeah, I'm literally a student, even if I wanted to eventually have kids I have no idea where I would storage a bunch of stuff

  49. Yeah I could have dodged it completely but tbf I was not expecting that kind of reaction from her considering that for a whole year she and her family had been really kind and receptive to me

  50. Wow, just wow. I really am speechless, as I didn’t know it was a requirement to be a competent dog sitter. Why the heck did she take it so personally? She did what she wanted having 3 kids so why getting so enraged if someone else wants something different? How does your choice will impact her and mostly her dogs?? Lol What if you were sterile and simply cannot have them, would it be a “reasonable” excuse for her?? Wtf, she is mental.

  51. What a weird ass lady, it's such a weird thing to argue about with someone. Even trying to convince someone to not have kids when they really want kids makes more sense than trying to convince someone to have kids, because there are all kinds of things that can make parenting a bad idea (financial struggles, mental and physical health struggles, having a terrible relationship with your partner, living in a dangerous area, the list goes on). And to argue about having a kid so you have a someone to take care of you in old age is the dumbest thing ever. And then to fire someone because you don't want a childfree woman around your kids or dogs is even dumber, as if your unwillingness to be a parent will rub off on anyone else. As if it has anything to do with dogsitting to begin with.

  52. Yeah I was a pretty bad influence to her daughters, once I was done indoctrinating the dogs I was gonna push my agenda onto them

  53. I'm over here still wondering why the hell you'd hold on to junk for hypothetical kids. Even if you wanted kids, why would you keep those toys for probably years?

  54. This is why with some people I tell them I can't have kids medically and act sad about it. Then they get embarrassed and change the subject pretty quick. It sucks that I have to do it but it works.

  55. Discrimination. You can f**k her over this if you had a contract. I am petty so I for sure would. But that's me, I love revenge. In other hand, maybe she's not worth your time because she seems so offended, she might be hating parenthood or your life. "Such kind of young girl"? Reeks of jealousy.

  56. Yeah I didn't have a contract. We had an arrangement where I would get to spend some time with their dogs on weekends and they would have those hours off to do whatever family things they felt like doing.

  57. My boss at my last job got bent out of shape that I didn’t want kids and was even considering getting voluntarily sterilized. Turns out, she wanted to set me up with one of her kids (who was my age). Any chance that could be applicable here?

  58. I don't think so, I'm 22 and her kids are still young all underage. Also I've always made it clear that I moved here strictly to study my masters and then I would move back to my hometown

  59. Wow that person is crazy find other people to dogsit for she is not worth your time … how is that her problem anyway it seems like some people are forgetting about free will

  60. I suspect that this woman has been envious of you for quite a while, working on your master’s and whatnot. She was probably thinking “Just wait until she has kids, all her plans will be curtailed” to make herself feel better. Finding out you’re childfree was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

  61. Yes, she clearly lacks empathy. She does not derserve a dog sitter TBH, she prioritized having time consuming children, now she need to prioritize giving up some mroe of her own time to also walk her dogs.

  62. I can totally relate. I think I was let go from a 12 year housecleaning job because they could see I was not thrilled when the grandkids, and their daughter's friends kids started rolling up to the house at Thanksgiving and Christmas. 20 people for dinner, I was the waitress, bussperson, maid, butler, dog nanny , light gardener.... I guess they wanted a built in nanny, too. It is heartbreaking to put your heart and soul into people's pets and homes, form an attachment to them and be disposed of like a used filthy item. And the loss of income! Jeez.

  63. Oh this is awful, I'm sorry! Yeah, I think she misunderstood my intentions there, I wanted nothing to deal with influencing her daughters I was purely interested in the dogs

  64. How do they not realize this is absolutely bonkers behavior? She’s in for a rude awakening when she realizes her kids won’t and don’t have to think exactly like she does.

  65. I’m sorry that happened. It seems so strange to me why she would ask you and then pry into your life like that. If the toys need a new home just donate them.

  66. My great uncle refused to give me land like he did with every single other cousin because I refuse to have kids. I even said I would will it back to the next gens kid or the youngest or whoever he wanted but he still refused. I'm quite the sentimentalist, I would have been happy with any choice he wanted but nope, I had to promise I'd have kids and it was such a ridiculous fucking hill for him to die on.

  67. This is what happens when an entire Country's population is mentally ill. We have mass PTSD on a Societal level (alongside complimentary Depression and Anxiety), piss poor Healthcare, and non-existent Mental Healthcare...without any $$ to pay for anything to actually improve our health (like food, gym, Doctor appointments, meds, and Psych. pills and appointments) and lives 'cause our bosses are greedy af and our Government only cares about Military Spending and wants to keep us poor 'cause then we spend all our remaining $$ on coping mechanisms (drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, fast food, clothes-makeup, etc)!

  68. It's always comments like "you're too young to know that" or they strike you as trying to be an edgy teenager

  69. It just seems weird that she wanted you to take the toys NOW when you don't even have kids, instead of donating the toys or selling them herself. Even to someone who wants to have kids one day, that's a weird ask. "Here hold on to these cast off toys for an indeterminate amount of time, because my kids don't want them anymore."

  70. What a bitch. And I'm pretty sure it's illegal to fire someone (from very small jobs too) based on prejudice: you can say you don't need their services anymore, but you can't fire someone based on race, sexuality, health conditions or lifestyle.

  71. I am really good at crying on cue so I would have (and have) started hysterically crying at her attack. Mumbling I can’t have kids.

  72. I was a house cleaner ( house manager, oftentimes) for 33 years, and I always got fired when clients became mombies. They wanted an excuse to not only not have to clean up after their kids, but be total slobs themselves. And when they are pregnant, OMG they are batshit crazy. I had a requirement that toys had to be put away before I arrived, because ' it wouldn't be economically feasible for them if I spent most of the time tidying toys and not scrubbing". Parents would not really listen, though, so I started asking them, on the phone, before I even met them, if they had or were planning children. And, yes, there was definitely a jealousy aspect there, because I was young, cute and free to be me. Mombies resent and feel threatened by that.

  73. Individuals such as this, strangely take someone else CHOOSING to lead a different life than their own, (OFTEN a life that “could have been” their own, on a path of different choices.) as a personal attack on their own life, when REALLY it’s their own insecurities and dissatisfaction in their own life and choices they made, that they are having internal issues with, NOT you. That woman is really upset at herself. NOT you. (I find it’s usually the people who think “getting married/having kids” isn’t optional, it’s a “must”.🙄)

  74. Are her dogs not already fixed? Seriously. I mean this is just so beyond ridiculous I can’t even wrap my brain around it. How do your reproductive choices impact her or her DOGS in any way!

  75. Sounds like she doesn’t want a ‘bad influence’ like you being around her girls. Wouldn’t want you to give them the idea that they aren’t broodmares! What a bitch.

  76. Most women see an independent, mature woman like you and want them around their young girls. Showing them what a girl can do with her future, all by herself. Education, a respectable job, kind-hearted side work. That's the influence you want around girls.

  77. This tells me your CFs strikes a chord; its typically the insecure ones who react to a non-threat as if it was a threat, because they wear the threat within. They are battling their own struggle, good ridance to them

  78. This is hilarious because you just KNOW that out of three kids, at least one of them is going to be CF in the future. What a psychopath- 'you're a trustworthy and reliable walker whom I would trust with my dogs and hand-me-downs- BUT YOU SAY YOU WON'T SPAWN MORE INNOCENT SOULS INTO THIS HELLHOLE WHAT---!!!! >demon screeching intensifies<.

  79. Usually when I tell people I’d forget to water them or fill their bowls, bc of all the online gaming that is the most important thing in my life, they drop it and realize that yes, I’d be horrible parent and perhaps they shouldn’t push me to change my mind.

  80. And surprisingly, I end up meeting the right person: another child-free like me. Lol Bored parents are the most poorly behaved social group in the world. They and their opinions over other people's reproductivity is just beyond obnoxious.

  81. So not wanting to have kids is as bad as being an antivaxer or a trump supporter. 😂 America is such an interesting country.

  82. Send her an email from a fake account as your own HR person and tell her she's on a PIP for her inappropriate behavior

  83. I tried that once in a friend's birthday, I got a "oh you're still in your early 20s, plenty of options like IVF or even adoption"

  84. So sorry to hear this. Wow, I don't know what I would have done if I were in your shoes. After she fired me I probably would have said "misery loves company, eh?" and slammed the door behind me.

  85. Always say you have an appointment booked for your tubes getting tied to end it so they know your decision is final!

  86. JFC - what a ridiculous person. I am sorry that you were subjected to her narrow-minded insults and ranting. And for the loss of the puppers as well.

  87. This particular kind of judgment is why I always say “I can’t have kids” instead of “I don’t want kids”— it shuts people up because they assume there’s a medical reason instead of an emotional/existential/logical one.

  88. Why do women have to say shit like this?? She should’ve not said anything else after you told her you don’t want kids like what the fuck? I’m sorry you lost your dog sitting job; you’re better off without her.

  89. how is it selfish to not want to have kids? that one really baffles me. wouldn't it be more selfish to, I don't know, pressure someone to have kids even though they don't want them because that fits your personal agenda?

  90. Unrelated but that's such a great idea to be a casual dog sitter because you want to spend time with dogs but otherwise can't.

  91. Not really a comment relating to the actual problem, but I would have totally taken the toys. I mean free toys! I know, I’m silly.

  92. She crossed so many lines. I'm sorry, OP. You didn't deserve to have your precious doggy playtime taken away because of her insecurity about motherhood. She probably felt insulted by you declining her donation of kids' toys, too. First you don't want to be a mother like her, then you reject her generous gifts? She was clearly feeling judged & triggered and took it out on you.

  93. That's SO weird... Even if you were to want kids in a few years, to take on a bunch of kids stuff now, esp while you're away at school and study, would be weird and too much. It's strange that she wanted to push kids stuff on a single, childless person and had that reaction. I'm so sorry 😞

  94. I remember when I was about 14 my mother who hoarded a bunch of baby stuff was angrily sorted it to be donated because "😡 well YOU don't want kids ANYWAY!" It was such a weird reaction. I might have said it like once. Even if I did want them, I mean she'd be holding onto that crap for a good decade.

  95. "That kind of girl". She's insecure in her marriage. She thinks not wanting kids means you're just the bait her hubby would go after. Sorry bout insecure mombie.

  96. 'Who's going to take care of you when you in 60 years'. Nothing beats creating life solely to give it the responsibility of looking after an elderly you.

  97. it's these people who don't understand that judging your choices and restricting your freedoms will very quickly effect them in the long term. When someone turns around and tells them its wrong to vaccinate or not vaccinate this woman's kids it's all an affront to them.

  98. I'm in my mid-fifties and I knew I didn't want to have kids at a very early age. That never changed. I never had them and now that I'm older, I get a lot of tired women telling me that they wish they made the decision not to have them and if they could go back, they wouldn't. When I was younger, though, I heard a lot of "Oh, you'll change your mind." I'm so glad that I never did because my life is my own and I don't have to worry about having grandkids dropped off at my door for whatever reason. I don't have "boomerang" children asking to stay with me constantly because they are having financial issues.

  99. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to get surgery so I can just tell people who ask me that I can’t (my bf is also planning a vasectomy too)

  100. That is soooooooo rude. So sorry you had to go through that OP!! We fully support you. Hope you find new lovely dogs in your life soon. 💕🐶

  101. I'm already solid in my decision to not have kids, but I can't help but think people like OP's former employer are what push people off the fence and into childfreedom.

  102. I'm also solid in my decision for multiple reasons but having seen this and having 2 friends who are soon becoming parents I have decided to wear a shield and helmet for personal protection

  103. in my experience you just can't win with these people and it's also why I generally never disclose my CF status to the 'busy big family mom' type. they take the decision not to have kid as a personal attack, then start attacking their strawman while putting all those words in your mouth. The end result is always you being the villain and i've yet to see a case with a happy or even a neutral ending.

  104. Not really no, I usually would just come in to say hi to them after lunchtime on Saturdays,get their leashes and fill up 2 water bottles and leave. When I'd come back I would just leave the dogs, say the typical "it went alright,they loved the walk" or "Marley did this in the walk today". Only like 2 months ago did they decide to invite me for dinner for the first time and it went pretty smooth, we just talked about general things, how my degree was going, how it was back at home etc

  105. She has to outsource her responsibilities and she doesn’t get why you don’t want children? She doesn’t even trust her teenagers with the full responsibilities to take care of their own pets and she thinks they will be able to mange being caretaker/servants to her in her senior years? You’re definitely going to get a phone call when she can’t find a pet sitter to meet her standards or worse, one that cancels for their own kid. Get ready to hear “I was sooo sleep deprived and that’s why I said that!”

  106. Idk why “whose gonna care for you when you’re old?” Is always used. I work in a nursing home about half were childfree (some by choice some not) and half have kids.

  107. Not really, we didn't have a contract and payment would vary. It was sort of an arrangement that took some of their dog responsibilities away while allowing me to spend some time with dogs on my weekends

  108. It's important to the tribe to make children. Anyone not willing to go along with the tribal think becomes the Other and must be rejected or destroyed

  109. I kinda feel like she's mad that you wouldn't take her kids crap toys to store for how many years before being played with again. I mean... Are these expensive well made toys or just junk from Wally-World? She's bizarro, and I am so sorry about the lil doggies

  110. Personally I don't hypothermia have this discussion with people its not relevant too unless I specifically choose too. More likely around peers but there an older I woman I work with who mentions it sometimes when I become a mom and stuff and I don't need to fight it with her. It would likely hurt and be draining to us both. Maybe worth considering who you actually care to share it with.

  111. "Who's gonna take care of you when you're old" and "you know how selfish it is to NOT have kids" in the same breath are so fucking funny to me, is anybody gonna tell her? (Her the weirdo mom, not op)

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