The amount of people (women especially) with ADHD that I’ve spoken to that have had this experience is astonishing 🤦🏻‍♀️ crazy there’s still such a lack of awareness around ADHD in 2022 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m curious, do you have a story like this?

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  1. When I look back, I've been exhibiting BRFBs since 3rd grade and procrastination/all nighters since 5th. I have always been deep in the now (emergency) versus not now (never) mindset. I kept a book under my desk at all times and actively read it during class. I was never diagnosed, though, because I was gifted. Like, valedictorian gifted.

  2. Every bit of this describes me, except I went into academia. Specifically, I went into a program where I was expected to carry the workload of multiple people; low enrollment means not being allowed new hires to help shoulder the load that exists regardless of enrollment. It took me about five years of too much work and too little sleep to start falling apart.

  3. High fives for procrastination/all nighter club!! I wrote my BA dissertation the night before deadline, despite having 18 months to prepare it!

  4. Literally my life!! I was tested and subsequently labeled as “gifted” in kindergarten, so a lot of my teachers just kinda let me be when I couldn’t pay attention. I half-payed attention and procrastinated my way through high school, still pulled off being 1st in my class, and had my bachelors by the time I was 19. Now that I’m in med school, it’s still not the content that’s difficult. Just the shear volume of the work load. It requires so much more productivity than I’ve ever managed in my life, along with added stress of adulting without the safety net of my parents (I moved away from 10hrs away from home), that makes it so much harder. Also, med school involves my kryptonite: EMAILS. Emails will be the death of me.

  5. Yup. I graduated from hs and college with great grades but my mental health was in shambles, got treated for anxiety and depression but it didn't work. I got a job in my field out of college but my inability to manage my time caused me so much anxiety and I would often find myself not being totally honest about how behind I was which made me even more anxious so I quit and am just now trying to find work again a year later lol. Nice to know this is a relatable experience 😂

  6. Oh my gosh, are you me? Our stories are so similar. Undiagnosed for years, procrastination, everything last minute, gifted at school. Then diagnosed this year at 34 when my life was falling apart too. Also self employed haha

  7. I tried googling BEFB because it sounded a lot like stimming, but I can't quite figure it out. They seem to be talked about as two different things, but I can't really see the difference and they totally look the same to me. Would you be so kind as to explain why you're talking of BRFBs instead of stims?

  8. Yeah why do we do this? Why do we always do so much at the expense of our own wellbeing? And in the end nobody cares. And it's like...I know that my employer isn't going to appreciate what I do at all. And I still do it. Just so people, what...don't think I'm lazy? See me as competent? Idk. I hate it so much and it's hard to stop.

  9. I also read books under my desk during class. Teachers initially discouraged me but then realized it didn’t seem to impact my grades.

  10. Ok I could have written this myself. Especially the room part. My parents couldn’t figure it out since the rest of my life seemed so together

  11. I'm also the gifted bookworm that was "too good at school to have ADHD". I had teachers that banned me from reading other books in their class ... So I read ahead in the textbooks. I finished so many projects in a last minute panic that it would be easier to list the ones that I didn't do that way. I made it through nursing school like this. I made it into working in the Neonatal ICU like this.

  12. Ridiculously late to this but I just want to say this comment is ridiculously spot on for me... I did great in school, through higher ed, and have done really well at a tough job. In my late twenties and just got diagnosed, after several rounds of "but you did well in school?" from family/strangers, AND have already had some "mmmm, maybe you should get a second opinion, because I don't believe you". It's very reassuring to see exactly what I felt from others... (Also the BRFBs??? I had never heard that before your post, but oh my gosh?? I never thought I could have ADHD because I was a quiet/not hyper kid - but I have literally so many little body things I have done for as long as I can remember...)

  13. ^ this. It gets worse when you go for a graduate degree. Even less structure than bachelors. This is when I realized I needed help and couldn’t ignore my issues.

  14. Hearing stories like this make me realize my own very similar struggles....I was diagnosed late and finally on meds again. I wasn't sure if I'd medicate my kiddo at a young age but I feel like I'm might consider it.

  15. Kids have very little to no choice in their lives. Of course there are many adhd kids that seem to grow out of it but really they adapted their circumstances to work around their issues. It’s common for wealthy young men to be polled for this sort of thing, especially for older studies such as this one. I’d bet that they don’t have much issue with adhd when all their housework is taken care of by someone else and all they had to focus on was being confident (impulsive, argumentative, stubborn, changing tasks) at work.

  16. Gosh, if I had someone managing my household and finances—if I could focus my energy only on work—I’d be golden. It’s the fact that I have to try to manage work and feeding myself and maintaining my house and not spending myself into bankruptcy and taking care of my health and… that I feel like that meme of someone juggling three balls while thirty more fall to the floor.

  17. Had my first child at 32. Executive dysfunction and sensory overload became way more visible for me, and started to affect my life in a way that was undeniable.

  18. I was diagnosed in my 30's too. The problems had always been there, but from the ages of 14/15 to 29 i had worked at least 1 job and gone to school Having a real daily/weekly schedule with consequences for being late helped me (don't get me wrong i clocked in for work on the dot most days and every assignment was an adrenaline induced marathon usually done the night before to get it done and doing housework, well it would get bad and then i would hyperfocus everything, buy new clothes cause i hadn't wahed any, or hire a cleaning person and also berate myself any time i had to do those things).

  19. Me too, my daughter is nearly 2, I'm 38, and I'm just now realising I have ADHD. Everything in my life up to now suddenly makes sense, and I mean EVERYTHING. It's frustrating but also is giving me a bit of relief to stop being so hard on myself. Makes me think if I'd never had a child would I have carried on not knowing for ever

  20. Yes exactly!! I have good coping strategies, but the issues are much much more exaggerated now that I have to manage parenting, our house, and myself. My husband also has ADHD, so we are quite a pair 😂

  21. I have only just recently been diagnosed (at 30). But having kids significantly made things harder. I had my first at 17, having only just left the structure of education and having moved out of the family home. It hasn’t been until maybe the last year of so it clicked to me I may have ADHD myself (all my kids are diagnosed and I work in disability support!). Realising I may have ADHD really began to make sense and I’ve been going over my whole life recently too. Really hoping now I have diagnosis and a good team that I can begin to live properly and develop strategies and get the right things in place!

  22. Well I went to my primary care doctor and asked about resuming medication (it's been over 10 years since I took it last) and life circumstances have changed. I was told I have to be evaluated again. Like what in the 6 hr battery of tests do you think has dramatically changed!? So different, but kind of

  23. This might not be the case with your PCP, but I've found that doctors who really do not want to handle stimulants or any controlled substance will pull this shit where an insane amount of testing is required to continue getting a script.

  24. I was originally diagnosed as ADHD inattentive, but my new shrink insisted on re-evaluating me because my original assessment was years ago and I’m a new patient, and she ended up diagnosing me as BOTH ADHD inattentive and ADHD impulsive, so somehow my ADHD got even more ADHD-ier.

  25. This makes me think I might need to get around to scheduling an appointment with an endocrinologist. I have PCOS, but it has never been well-managed (it took lots of arguing with multiple OBGYNs to even get my hormone levels tested), and my body seems to despise estrogen (both when my body naturally produces more or when I’m prescribed hormonal birth control or estrogen pills). If there’s some way to get my estrogen levels up to normal without my body and mind feeling like they’re self-destructing, perhaps my ADHD would be easier to manage.

  26. I truly thought I was getting dementia when I hit menopause - and I mean uprooted and moved continents to be near family so my daughter would still have a home. I'm pretty sure now it's ADHD but there's a 3yr waiting list and caring for my ADHD teenager takes 150% of my energy and mental capacity.

  27. Wow, what are you talking about?! I have PCOS and quit the AC early in 2020 and a year later I got diagnose, finally! I took AC since I was 15. Are you saying that could maybe contribute to how the symptoms of Adhd became so evident that I finally got diagnose in my 30s? I can blame one more thing that having PCOS ruined in my life now

  28. I would say you grow out of the symptoms that negatively impact others, while the symptoms that negatively impact you increase with increased personal responsibility and lack of imposed external structure.

  29. yes, yes, yes. I’m just waking up and not capable of more than this rn, but this is such a great way to describe it

  30. For me, it got 10,0000% worse as I got older. Whether it was just being an adult and/or all that comes w/it (all the societal expectations of being an "adult" that just makes ALL the things so much harder or being a mom that only compounds everything that is already SOOOOO damn difficult. I really don't know... But the stuff like time management, RSD, emotional disregulation, being on top of things like appointments, Dr. visits, school stuff, paying bills, managing money, finding & keeping a job & just being able to find a job that's the right fit for me & all my ways, cleaning & making/keeping steady routines ect.. The older I get the more my ADHD affects me in every way. My job seems harder, friends seem harder to make & to keep. I'm not sure if it's cuz the older we get, the more the world expects us to be "mature" & have our shit together. All I know is that once I was officially diagnosed (age 43) I was able to put A LOT of my life & life experiences in perspective. It ALL started to make total sense. All of the sudden I realized that maybe I wasn't just a broken person who just wasn't getting the ways of life. No more did I feel like a person who is living life who felt like every other person got a "how to do life handbook " that I just didn't receive. Who just couldn't seem to grow up & do things the right way. I realized that there are definitely reasons for me being the way I am. It all started to make sense. Once I was medicated (took awhile to find a Dr. and the right med & dose) but once I did, it was like OMG, YESSS, it ALL frickin makes sense now!! This is how life should be & I am NOT broken!!! I'm just a little different & that's totally ok!!

  31. Oh and it gets worse when women start going through perimenopause. Must be men who are saying that it goes away.

  32. You learn to adapt until menopause. Estrogen masks ADHD. So when your estrogen levels start to drop, or plummet when your Dr weans you off your HRT, ADHD comes roaring in. I thought I was going mad. But it got me diagnosed. At 54.

  33. When perimenopause kicked in, it made everything worse. There just comes a point where you can't mask shit anymore. Hormones definitely fuck you over, I felt rough in puberty, rough in pregnancy and now I feel rough in peri. Ugh.

  34. Dx'd at 38, still haven't yet tried Adderall or a stimulant. On Wellbutrin (that I suck at taking consistently, what with forgetting if I just took a pill or was about to), and Strattera gave me headache city.

  35. My old psych (who I hadn't seen for years) even had the audacity to somehow remove my ADHD diagnosis from my record so I was forced to get re diagnosed to get accommodations at my university

  36. That sucks! I can't believe they would do that. That isn't even legal or ethical to go back and remove without a re-evaluation.

  37. A psychologist who says this does not have any ADHD expertise and needs to be avoided. Neurodevelopmental disorders do not magically go away. However, symptom profiles may shift over time from childhood to adulthood instead. This does NOT mean someone is no longer significantly impacted in numerous ways by ADHD. If anything, demands of adulthood and loss of structure and predictability of childhood (e.g., school) can really exacerbate or reveal ADHD especially in women whose symptoms were overlooked during childhood. ‼️‼️😐

  38. I think that it got worse for me because I was diagnosed a couple of years ago at 33. So because I never knew the issue, I didn’t learn ways to adapt as I grew up.

  39. Doctors, parents, psychologists: you know, we aren’t bothered as much by your ADHD now that we aren’t forcing you to sit behind a desk and shut up for 7 hours a day! You must be cured!

  40. I loved school till high school because it was easy. I did all my reading before class because I was actually interested. High school got tougher, but the structure of school and college with the short deadlines worked well for me.

  41. When I was younger I was good enough at schoolwork where I could coast on my intelligence to get me through the work. As I got older and the work got harder I couldn't keep that up and it made my symptoms worse.

  42. You can’t grow out of your brain. I don’t understand the argument that you’ll grow out of it. It’s not a mental illness.

  43. Also the article I saw in the Daily Express the other day: "It's more common in boys than girls." THIS ATTITUDE IS WHY I AM 47 AND DIDN'T GET DIAGNOSED UNTIL LAST TUESDAY!!

  44. I didn’t even get diagnosed until I was 33, and that was only because I thought I was depressed. Turns out I have exhibited all of the internal signs that are easily glossed over or missed because I’m not outwardly fidgety or expressive. Very much an introvert and even after my diagnosis last fall, my parents were still kind of in disbelief.

  45. Yeah I don’t think it got worse, but I aged out of the structure (school, parents) that forced me to function. On the other hand, I’ve heard if you received treatment/intervention during childhood you’re more likely to learn better coping mechanisms that help you as you become an adult, sometimes to the level where you no longer need to be medicated to function.

  46. When I think of ADHD and other disabilities it’s important to know “you got better” really means “I haven’t noticed you inconveniencing me.”

  47. I have to say I did ‘grow out’ of certain aspects of my adhd with age, and have managed it better. For example I used to be a stereotypical hyperactive kid who couldn’t sit still, always moving or playing and such. Over the years I have changed and grown out of the visible hyperactivity. Rather, now the way I speak and speed of talking clues in others about my adhd in comparison to the clear adhd symptoms I used to display as a child.

  48. Abso-fucking-lutely. My story is in my comments. I literally just woke up so I don't feel like going so that again. I can relate to every single commenter. I have emotions like a child: temper tantrums, pouting, any praise sends me over the moon, every slight (real or perceived) lives in my head for weeks. Everyday is a massive struggle that no one in my daily life understands

  49. They always told me and my parents this bullshit through my childhood. So much so that I went off my meds as 'an adult' (19). It got SO MUCH WORSE.

  50. I did OKAY with ADHD when I was a kid because my life was constant structure that someone else gave me. I still had trouble keeping up with assignments and you couldn't walk in my room from the mess. But I had decent grades and some friends and felt happy. I was medicated for my senior year and that plus parental and school structure made me THRIVE. Then came adulthood and abandoning meds from stigma and booooooooooooooooom messy unsuccessful human. And a decade of wondering why I cannot be that amazing person I was for one year of my life.

  51. I couldn't get anyone to admit I had a problem until major surgery, menopause, a new job, a pandemic, a natural disaster, and my divorce all happened in the span of about 18 months. Now I'm medicated for ADHD, off SSRIs, and actually have a few real friends plus some romantic interests.

  52. My partner grew out of his. Took a while to get it through to him that he shouldn't expect me to get better eventually (he figured that it was just taking me longer) or that I'm somehow not doing my treatment right.

  53. My people! I finally found my people! Every comment I read is something I was about to type. Is this real? What does this mean?

  54. Yep! I was diagnosed at about age ten, tried meds briefly, didn't work after about a month so I stopped taking them. We assumed I grew out of it and my parents and I never spoke of it again.

  55. I think it’s definitely worse or maybe I’m just self aware enough to realize I was never keeping up and that my struggles aren’t typical? And now I’m a mom and socially expected to manage my kids and my husband and my own doctors appointments, dentist appointments, play dates, family events and parties, school things, do all the meal planning and cooking and organizing. And I’m just being buried in it. I just cannot keep up.

  56. You can never "grow out" of any disability. It doesn't just poof out of existence once you hit 18, I wish it worked that way, it'd make life a hell of a lot easier for me.

  57. “Growing out” of ADHD is simply learning how to control impulses (but still having them), masking, using substances to enhance your mood or numb your senses, and generally being dead inside 🙃

  58. I think the theory is frontal lobe/executive functioning (I hate that term, makes me feel like there’s a little white man in the front of my brain shuffling paper and coughing into his lavalier mic-“is this thing on? No?…check back in 25 years???” Fine) doesn’t finish developing until mid to late 20’s and ADHD people lag behind others.

  59. I blame the capitalism! Lol. I'm kidding but I'm not! We have to be productive and active and do things every single hour of the day. To study, to work, to take care of our houses, of ourselves, to have a family and friends, to progress in our career, to pay the bills and save money for the future and all the f*cling time we have worries and thoughts running around our heads. The fact that is expected of me to achieve things that made it get worse and more and more evident. Of course my Adhd got worse as I grew. I have to do and to think so much more than when I was younger.

  60. My mom always talks about this, how you grow out of it....as if she wasn't diagnosed as an adult!?!?? You don't just grow out of a neurological disorder. You may hide it better, or cope, but it doesn't just get easier till it disappears.

  61. More like you learn to act normal. ACT being the key word in that sentence. I’m always asking my therapist how I’m supposed to ACT around doctors and I’m not sure why that hasn’t clued her in. I’m going to be clear clear clear this time about how that means I am obviously faking my entire life.

  62. As a kid I gave myself panic attacks so I'd remember stuff because I'd get told off for my ADHD symptoms. Now as an adult in therapy, I've worked very hard on managing my anxiety symptoms and wow my ADHD has gotten so much worse.

  63. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 6. When I was in high school then, I was told it had morphed into bipolar 2 and I was put on really strong drugs which fairly ruined my life at the time. I never agreed with the bipolar 2 diagnosis. Everything I read about it made me believe more and more that's not what my issue was but I was told the doctors of course knew more than me.

  64. You learn to adapt. Nothing more nothing less. I dont medicate anymore, i just pay less attention to the "oh squirrel" moments.

  65. Definitely! I wasn’t officially diagnosed until I was 22 as everyone thought my symptoms were anxiety/depression/OCD instead of ADHD since they’re comorbidities. I’ve never felt better since starting my meds

  66. As a woman I can say I didn't grow out of it.... From 20-35ish I just hid it better so I could function in society. Now at 40 it's straight out of control and I had to get medication.

  67. The psychologist who diagnosed my 7 year old said this to my husband, as for why we shouldn’t bother medicating him. I just… wtf man?

  68. I think that’s the easy way of saying “there’s no solution right now but I’ve done all I can do and in 10-20 years I won’t be working here so you can’t blame me for failing your kid.” I got this excuse for all my allergies that I never grew out of

  69. I definitely stopped being hyperactive as soon as I hit puberty. In fact my endless energy was replaced by constant fatigue as soon as I hit puberty. I definitely manage day to day, even with kids and a house to run, especially since I added melatonin at bed times. It's made such an enormous difference to my life.

  70. Well me personally 33f I don't see a doctor, I don't take medication, so maybe they think it's just not an issue anymore. It is. I'm a procrastinator extraordinaire. I'm really great at that. Lost my train of thought so this is all I have to say meow.

  71. Yea growing out of it is bullsh*t. I am a psychotherapist who was diagnosed with ADHD late in life and it explained so much about when I was a kid all the way through now. Now I have more tools to manage it, but it is still there and sometimes screaming LOUD. I am now specializing in working with women who think they have anxiety and it is really ADHD. I also created a podcast with a friend who is also a psychotherapist with a late diagnose of ADHD. Growing out of it such crap. Women are so underdiagnosed...

  72. exactly! I hate how they discount how hard perimenopause is also, especially with ADHD. Anytime our hormones go wacka doodle our ADHD sings LOUD.

  73. Any psychologist who thinks that is a straight up ignorant HACK. There is zero room for any "confusion" on this - we KNOW that ADHD is not something that is outgrown.

  74. Yeah I don't understand this either. Since WHEN did we grow out of it? Did they compare rowdy kids to adults that no longer literally tries to climb the window sills anymore? Is that how they came to the conclusion that people outgrew it?

  75. It could also be because some of the people who ‘grew out of it’ didn’t actually have adhd in the first place. Maybe their symptoms were caused by lack of sleep or trauma

  76. I was undiagnosed until 37, but knowing what I know now I've been pretty severe since day one but it has gotten progressively worse my whole life extremely bad now where I still haven't been able to find what works. Of course self medicating with meth for 10 years because of trying to cope with the symptoms and not knowing it wasn't just me complicates things but

  77. It's technically possible but rare to grow out of it. It may appear to get worse because we have more responsibilities and often need to be the executive functions for children. It can also actually get worse from hormones because low estrogen increases symptoms and that happens for women often (puberty-related irregular hormone fluctuations, lows before periods, low dose hormonal birth control, extreme lows post-pregnancy, menopause, illnesses).

  78. I think, too, it becomes more apparent that something is wrong, although it looks like it's a You-As-A-Person Problem. (Hell, sometimes I still feel like I just suck.) When you're a kid, you don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders like you do as an adult. And when you're a kid, and you fuck up, assuming you don't live in an abusive home, what's the worst that happens? You get grounded, you get detention, maybe you get an in-school suspension.

  79. Yes it did get worse. Because as an adult I have to get a lot of shit done of my own volition, which makes it harder.

  80. For women especially as we hit middle ages. I always thought I had it, my 2 sons are diagnosed, but as they got older they, I will say calmed a bit. But no one ever grows out of it. I on the other hand, have been dealing with symptoms so much more as entering perimenopause and learned that it is from the lowering of estrogen in our bodies which lowers dopamine even more then already is.

  81. It almost seems like the traits of ADHD are more tolerated/expected as a kid, but they turn into major hindrances in adult life. That’s basically how it was for me. I was used to having stuff done for me, and people thinking I just didn’t know any better. Now that I’m an adult, it’s not so cute to people anymore. I’m now having to learn to find my own ways to do things, while others are still baffled at why I can’t just be a normal, active, straightforward adult. I can still wonder that myself sometimes. It’s tough.

  82. I had a psych like that and when I was like, "But why does strattera work so well for me?" She tells me "Everybody gets a little boost on stimulants." Me: "But it's not a stimulant..." I think she was afraid of drug seekers. I was annoyed. Still looking for a 2nd opinion.

  83. My ADHD didn't get worse. Being a kid with ADHD wasn't a big deal, the things I struggled with were exactly the same. It was my responsibilities that changed. ADHD sure feels a lot worse when suddenly it's affecting things like keeping a job, a house, bringing up children, looking after pets, paying bills etc rather than things like remembering your homework

  84. Did you know there’s a name for people like us? Twice exceptional, 2E to those who study it. When you’re certifiably gifted enough to hide a disability, of which ADHD counts. I found this out just a few weeks ago.

  85. This seems like it reflects a misdiagnoses of childhood ADHD, perhaps identify normal childhood energy and a lack of desire to sit still and do schoolwork.

  86. With the pressures of adult life, I am unsurprised to hear people say their ADHD got worse. But I suspect that the ability to mask got better, so outwardly it looks like symptoms reduced, while in more private settings.... probably not so much.

  87. Oh for the day when learning disabilities like dyspraxia and ADHD get as much respect, attention, awareness, demands not to be disrespected as transgenders are getting in 2022 even if it's only from one large sector of society and not others.

  88. This is purely selection bias, you are talking to the people who had it and still have it, not the ones that got better (they are not still involved in the ADHD community for the most part.)

  89. I was first diagnosed about 20 years ago. It was treated like a learning disability that would go away. I am the combo type with high hyperactivity.

  90. I was first diagnosed about 20 years ago. It was treated like a learning disability that would go away. I am the combo type with high hyperactivity.

  91. I don't think it got worse, it actually got better for me, but life as a adult is much worse tham as a kid. For example, I cannot chopp very well the ingredients when I'm cooking and I just realized that as adult for obvious reasons.

  92. Is it just an USA thing? I'm from Brazil and I've never ever heard something like that, that people "grow out" ADHD. I wonder if people from other countries have the same experience.

  93. I get so mad at myself not being an “avid reader” like I was when I was a kid but then I remember how much energy I lose just from making dinner and cleaning up after some days.

  94. Uh, yeah. My last psychiatrist said she "doesn't really believe in adult diagnosis of ADHD" and mocked me for thinking I have ADHD because I didn't fail any years in school when I was a kid. Now I don't even have the courage to seek professional help because I know it'll not be taken seriously.

  95. Haha I never grew out of it, I just continued along with an ever-increasing set of poorly-cobbled-together life hacks and coping mechanisms that made me seem ‘normal’… or at least superficially normal.

  96. I’m new here, but I didn’t know I had ADHD until I did the Vanderbilt for my daughter and then my son. I’d built excellent structures for myself until I had to have a hysterectomy and got plunged into menopause. Everything fell apart, I thought I was losing my mind. I’m on the same dose of meds my 8yo is - and (almost) everything in my brain works again now…

  97. My son was a great student but his teachers always noted his inability to focus and constantly fidgeting and talking to others. After hearing this from K-2nd grade we decided to get him evaluated. When he was diagnosed with ADHD in 2020, I started researching it to find ways to help him and figure out accomodations for school, I started seeing similarities in things I've struggled with my whole life. After a year of procrastinating and then dealing with time waiting to see someone plus additional testing (I was borderline initially but not enough to get an actual diagnosis) I was diagnosed this spring with adult ADHD. They initially tried to say it was depression and anxiety. I do have anxiety.. but not depression. It's nice to finally have help after 30+ years.

  98. I grew out of mine. Doctor diagnosed and medicated for years. Stopped taking my meds and I've been declared as totally fine now

  99. After kids my ADHD symptoms got 10 times worse. If I didn’t have kids I am not sure if I would have been diagnosed.

  100. Something like this was in the doctors office on a poster I was so confused getting diagnosed like isn’t this something your born with…? Does it just poof?

  101. I’ve been in college since 2016 and still no closer to finishing. It’s beyond demoralizing. My parents are doctors and this academic failure has caused me to be suicidal and experience a lot of self loathing.

  102. If you or someone that you know is considering suicide, please don't hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline for immediate help, or a warmline just to talk to someone.

  103. I was dxed two years ago. I look back and can't understand how it was missed, and then I remember the psychiatrist who refused to test me, the therapist who wanted to "put a pin in that," etc. If you're not a disruptive child, no adults will ever take notice.

  104. So my boyfriend was diagnosed with ADHD as a child (but didn’t realize, funny story there) and wanting to get treatment now he recently went to get tested again. The place he went said that he “grew out of his ADHD”, “most people grow out of ADHD” and the SAME SYMPTOMS are now just from his depression and anxiety instead. Basically while he had some indicators on the tests he was too smart / did too well (while where I went for testing specifically looked at relative deficits between my scores, his place was just looking at the score itself). They were basically like “we know this is disappointing to hear, but you just need to try harder and pay us for behavior therapy”.

  105. I was told a couple of years ago by a psychiatrist that there was no way I could have ADHD as an adult because I wasn’t diagnosed as a child. 🙄

  106. Was told most people grow out of it, by my psychiatrist while I was being prescribed my meds, he wasn’t implying I was one of these people but I was surprised, I don’t think a single person has ever “grown out of it”, he was a well known and well respected psychiatrist in the area too.

  107. I’m still undiagnosed and the few times I went in an attempt to be diagnosed the doctors told me that I’m “depressed” or have bpd. I’m 36 and the last few years I feel worse than ever, like I’m drowning. I’ve had mental breakdowns a few times this year seeing bills be forgotten, messes piling up etc. I feel so incompetent to be with my responsible boyfriend who’s been able to write a novel and thesis within the span of a year and a half and I’ve still got projects half fine is her from last summer. I hope a doctor takes me seriously eventually.

  108. You're AFAB aren't you? I read somewhere that AFAB people were more likely to get a diagnosis of a mood disorder or BPD before they would an ADHD diagnosis and it's still a problem.

  109. I would say I grew into it instead of out of it. Had a serious stress situation for a prolonged period of time and suddenly I couldn’t manage anymore and apparently it’s adhd. It did make sense suddenly but well for me it definitely got worse. I always say something snapped in me and it suddenly had free reign.

  110. I don’t really think it gets worse. Rather, the individual responsibilities, stresses, and repercussions make ADHD symptomology more tangible.

  111. 100%. It made it difficult to even believe my diagnosis, but I truly feel like it got worse in the past few years which finally led me to seek help at 34. I think back to childhood and early adulthood and recognize symptoms but think “why wasn’t I having this much trouble?” I was a “gifted and talented” child and have always been successful (looking in from the outside) so when I told my parents my diagnosis they were shocked.

  112. From my own experience and the experiences of some other high-achieving female ADHDers that I know, it's not so much that it gets worse, it's that it becomes much harder to manage, because as a kid it's not that unusual to have people around you providing support, but once you hit adulthood, you're suddenly expected to grow up and handle it all on your own. For example, most people with ADHD have trouble completing homework. As a kid, even as a teenager, a lot of parents might provide regulatory support that forces their kid to get the work done. Even K-12 school (at least in the US) provides a lot of structural support. And then these students get to college, or work, where they're suddenly on their own trying to manage.

  113. The Dr that gave me a diagnosis told me that she didn’t know why people say that girls and boys present symptoms differently when I told her I suspected I had it after my niece was diagnosed in kindergarten for hyper focusing. I started looking at symptoms and found out that girls present differently than boys a lot and don’t get diagnosis because of it. Her dad, my brother, was diagnosed as a kid because he had the “classic” symptoms. I was a good student and responsible so I didn’t suspect anything until I was an adult when I got my anxiety and depression under control. I got my diagnosis and meds, so I just ignored that comment the dr made. Doing a lot better now!

  114. Actually, I have gotten better as I’ve gotten older. Now that I’m post menopausal I’ve seen a huge improvement with my ADHD symptoms.

  115. I was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten by my pediatrician. I presented then with the classic hyperactivity side of the spectrum. This would have been around 1983/1984. I was put on Ritalin, but in rural Texas I was never seen by a psychiatrist.

  116. If you look at recent Dr. Barkley's paper/presentation. He found that people "grow out of ADHD" (i.e., prevalence rate drops in adulthood) because kids with ADHD die.

  117. Let me tell u a story about muah: I'm not sure if I have adhd still, but I'm sure tge symptoms have faded drastically or it could also be that im older and am in more control of my emotions. Anyway I always felt different and like something was wrong with me. I would cry over the smallest things like a bug getting stepped on by someone else. No matter how hard I tried I could not stop the tears from escaping my eyes. I always thought "what's wrong with me, just stop already". My family called me "La Llorona" which is an urban legend in Mexico. They basically called me a crybaby and it really hurt. I really wanted their approval tho so I baked for them to hopefully get them to like me. This never worked and I was still bullied. I'm not sure if they caused my adhd to develop or if it were through genetics, but their bullying only made it worse. My parents would tell me how I would always cry so much and just leave me crying on the floor. I guess they weren't aware I was having meltdowns and thought I was just throwing tantrums. I felt like a pesk in their home and cried almost every night. I always wished I was never born. It affected me in school as well. I would have outburst and cry in tge middle of class often. I wish someone would've helped anyone. Sure I had good friends, but I never felt understood. I didn't even know what was wrong with me. Only until I grew older did I understand. Sorry for tge rant I just needed to get this off my chest and thank you for taking your time to read this if u did lol.

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