should I be worried about this age gap?

  1. Those 10 years from 19 to 29 are years with pretty massive changes in maturity and life goals. (No offense meant) I would be suspicious of this guy. To me it would depend on how and where you met. Why is he interested in someone so much younger and seemingly less experienced than he is.

  2. Another thing to be mindful of is that while the age gap is major. In America the 2nd red flag should be that the minor isn’t of legal drinking age.

  3. When I was 19: I still lived with my parents I was in my 2nd year of college I’d never had a serious relationship I was poor af

  4. yeah, honestly I think it’s time we start referring to young adults as a separate group, like teenagers. “Pre-adult” or “proto-adult” or something. Basically, whatever arbitrary age a government or society defines “adulthood” (often 18 or 16) up until 25.

  5. 10 years age gap is fine, if you were older and you both were at almost same maturity level. Initial 20s have steep learning curve wrt maturity and then it becomes marginal learnings. So later on in life people tend to be mature enough. Right now there would be huge power imbalance between you two. You have a lot to learn on your own, form your own opinions and personality. This won’t happen if you have an older figure telling you “what’s wrong” and “what’s right”.

  6. Totally agree. I had a serious relationship with a woman ten years older, and she was amazing. But it was when I was 25 and she was 35. Age gaps are less important the older you get.

  7. I am 28 and the idea of dating an 18 year old sounds horrific. The amount you change is just astronomical, we view you as still children (no offence). My friends around my age and older would agree (& a lot of my friends are male).

  8. Ugh, the type of dude who thinks of himself as a mentor and wants to train a girlfriend, who is younger than him and (he hopes) dumber, so he can feel important. I am a middle aged sharp-tongued femme with very "toppy" energy, so these guys don't even know how badly they fail hitting on me.

  9. Big agree. Im 26 and wouldn’t date a 19 year old because there are some things most 19 year olds have to figure out about themselves still. And they’re not going to be able to do that and grow if they’re in a relationship with some one who is ready to settle down near their 30s.

  10. I’m barely older than you and 100%, a 19 year old is still almost a child. They’re reaching “almost adults” status but not there.

  11. My senior year in college I started hanging out with and eventually dating a sophomore. So I was like 22, she was 20. It felt completely fine while we were both in school, although was a little weird that she couldn’t go to the bar with us, but otherwise we had similar friends, went to the same parties, had classes in the same buildings, etc.

  12. It's not the age gap, really. It's the fact that you're 19 and facing that age gap. If you were 30 and he was 40, that's fine because BOTH of you are experienced adults who know what they want and how to recognize red flags (ideally speaking, of course). But you're 19. Most of the time, when older guys date young women who are not even out of their teens, it's about their inexperience and how easy it is to manipulate them compared to a woman their own age. There are times when these relationships are really okay and the guy doesn't have creepy motives for choosing someone so young, but when it goes wrong, it goes REEEEALLY wrong. Please be careful.

  13. When I was 19, I thought 30-year-olds were old. Now that I am 30+, 19-year-olds are babies. So I would be suspicious of this guy, for sure.

  14. I'm 33, my hard lower limit for age is 25. Any guy younger than that looks too young for me and I just feel like it would be kind of weird to date someone who's had significantly less life/dating experience than me. I tend to only go out with guys 30 and up. I do not understand how some older men can lust so hard after such younger women, it grosses me out now.

  15. I’m only 25 and I wouldn’t date a 19 year old. The experience and maturity gap is too large. I have a crush who is 30, but we are both in graduate school so there’s no experience imbalance or power imbalance there.

  16. I’m in. Discord with an average age of 30 ish. We’ve got one member that is 19 and we frequently call her “The Baby” just because the perspective and life experience is VASTLY different.

  17. i really can’t thank you enough for this. he is definitely trying to mold me into someone who would be the perfect little girlfriend for him. i am still a teenager. i needed to be reminded of that. this man is almost 30. i needed to be reminded of that too. holy shit.

  18. Having read the edit, I just want to thank all my older sisters here who are saving so many younger women from what would otherwise be a possibly un-fixable mistake. I wish Reddit was a thing when I was 19.

  19. Me too...my ex was so kind, but I was groomed to be the perfect little gf for him. Now I'm out, and trying to find myself while preparing for my own future.

  20. He is in a completely different stage of his life than you are. You're, what, a freshman or sophomore in college (if you attend)? If he went to school, he got out about seven years ago. He is taking advantage of you — ask yourself why he's not interested in women his own age. Or, more accurately, ask yourself why women his own age aren't interested in him.

  21. These are the same ages and genders as myself and a younger coworker. We get along really well but I'd even just feel weird being friends outside of work. I'd help her out if she's in a bind like everyone else but I want to hang out with people with a life experience level similar to my own.

  22. As a 30yo dude, I think it’s pretty creepy. Does he have any female friends that are his age? What do they think of him dating someone who just finished high school?

  23. Most of that description sounds very groomy to me. He might actually like you but that doesn't change the fact that he can use his age and experience, probably his stability, to groom you too be the perfect little girlfriend. There's a significant imbalance in your relationship due to age and experience and the stages of life you are both at

  24. I think some people also don’t realize you can inadvertently groom someone. Not all groomers are consciously waking up every day thinking: “Time to shape my little girlfriend into my perfect partner!” Just the age difference alone can cause huge problems, like you said.

  25. Yes, you should be worried. I am 28 and would never ever ever ever consider dating a 19 year old. Listen to your gut. You are wise!

  26. Yeah. I think it should be something like a 10% age difference rather than a set number. That would mean a 20 year old could be with 18-22 and that gives some flexibility but still a reasonable life experience level. Then elderly could have a higher flexible range such as 80 could be 72-88 and have someone in a similar life position and likely activity level.

  27. This is impossible to understand until you get to that age, but when you're 29, the idea of dating a 19 year old will seem horrifying. I think a lot of women who dated older men when they were very young don't realize how weird it was until they get to the age that the man they dated was when they started dating. I had a 22 year old into me when I was 16 and it felt totally normal and even flattering at the time but when I turned 22 I was like "oh.....eeeeew"

  28. Once you get to be his age, you’ll realize how messed up it is that he’s seeking someone so much younger. When I was 19, I don’t think I put too much stock in age gaps. But as I got older, I realized I didn’t want anything to do with someone who was just a kid a couple years ago because I was just beyond that point in my life. This is weird, definitely a red flag.

  29. I was 19 dating a 27 year old who was just as nervous as I was. I initiated first kiss, and decided I didn’t want more. We broke up a while later.

  30. Exactly this. I am married to a man 10 years older than me and we work great together - but I’m 36 so it’s an entirely different scenario. We often talk about how if we’d met when I was in my early 20s it would’ve never worked and my husband even says that would’ve made him 100% uncomfortable and he never would’ve pursued me. The fact that OP is so young is what makes this disturbing, because guys who will go for someone in such a different stage of their life often have really bad qualities and are not in it for good reasons at all. They want someone they can groom and control.

  31. Yes, you should be absolutely worried about why a man who’s nearly in his 30’s wants to date someone who is still a teenager. I guarantee you one day you’ll be that age and look back in horror at how big that gap is in life experience.

  32. Oh honey. When I was 18 I met a guy at work that was 30. He was wonderfully sweet and we were “just friends” for about 6 months before I fell head over heels for that mother fucker because he wasn’t a teenage boy. It did not end well. He tried to convince me to drop out of school so I didn’t have to move. Wouldn’t meet my parents. Tried to impregnate me so I’d be stuck with him. It was a terrible relationship apart from the awesome sex. My next three boyfriends were 30-34 and it was rinse and repeat of the same exact shit. If they have literally anything going for them, they don’t need to find 18-20 year olds to date. If your lucky, you’re going to look back on this relationship later and feel icky. I’m almost 30 now and the thought of sleeping with a 19 year old makes me very uncomfortable.

  33. ok so, i’m going to get myself out of this situation. but what if i’ve already sent him nudes? none of them have my face in it… but it’s already done. and it’s making me nervous now.

  34. I dated a 30 year old when I was 19 and it was the worst relationship/ decision of my life tbh. I’m only 22 now but I wouldn’t even date a 19 year old if that tells you anything.

  35. I love seeing the support system the people in this sub are capable of creating: OP reaches out with maximum vulnerability, are met with a torrent of support, and are empowered to make a decision to protect themselves.

  36. There are so many young women here on Reddit who wake up and realize that they have been groomed. Sometimes they have children with these men. Then they are left alone with the children and the man has already moved on to find another teenager, once the woman's body has been changed by childbirth/breastfeeding. This last story I read was heartbreaking. I wish I could give all of them to OP to read.

  37. I was 18 when I dated someone 29. Even though he was “normal”, looking back, I cringe because Im 29 now, and I cannot phantom dating anyone 10 years younger than me. Its disgusting because you are completely in different life stages and youre so much of a kid still

  38. Barf teaching you how to be more comfortable with sex and other acts. That dude has another thing coming. No one teaches you to be comfortable, either you are or aren't. You can explain and teach respect, communication and how to approach sex and intimacy with a partner but not to direct them how to be comfortable.

  39. The fact you have to ask suggests you already know the answer. Listen to your instincts, that man shouldn't be dating someone your age.

  40. As a woman in my thirties, I can confirm that none of my decent male friends are looking for teenagers. They can find girlfriends while competing with other decent men. But the incompetent ones are basically culled by natural selection of the dating world. Women his age are not stupid. If he was good enough, at least one of them would have kept him as her boyfriend. But nobody his age wanted him. He might say he was popular but he still chose you. But no, he just couldn't impress anyone his age. So to not get culled those incompetent ones have to move to a different dating world, where they can compete with teenage boys. It's like being frustrated about failing high school so you just go to an elementary school to get straight As. Your classmates will think you are so smart. He knows so much he is so mature he is so wise and kind! But no, the fact that they had to go back to elementary school means he is the opposite of smart. Just like how none of your normal 19o friends play with 9 year olds, none of my normal 30o friends date 19o girls.

  41. Yeah this is not meant to be offensive to op in any way, but what kind of loser needs to pick up a 19 year old girl at 29? He’ll be sweet until you depend on him, and then he’ll own you. Is this formula guaranteed? No. But I wouldn’t recommend playing the odds on him being decent.

  42. Just don’t do it. I’m a guy. And when I (43M)was 25 an 18 year old (F) fell for me. I fell for her. We “dated” long distance for some time like 8 months. Nothing much happened sexually but I look back at that time as “I should have known better” or a time of arrested development or lack or emotional awareness. Whatever it was I know I needed to grow up. And looking back I should have made a different choice. Because I learned your “feelings” of “love” are only one aspect of a working fulfilling relationship. Is 10 years too much? If you were 30 and he was 40 maybe not. But at 19. I say yes.

  43. If you were comfortable with it you'd be comfortable with it. It's amazing how great people can seem when they are gunning for sex. Don't worry about his feelings, yours are what matter.

  44. "Teaches me a lot about relationships and sex". You should be growing together in a relationship, not him 'grooming' you for what he likes. Huge red flag, imo

  45. I didn’t truly mature until 25 despite telling myself at 18 that I was. I FELT I was but the mental differences between 18 and 25 were like night and day. You may be interested now but I’m sure you won’t look back too fondly on the age gap

  46. Yes. I'm a 31 year old man, and you should be worried. Imagine someone your age going out of his way to sleep with a 14 year old. Sure, they might be mature for a 14 year old, but that would still be fucked up. This is pretty much the same, only it's legal, but that doesn't make it right.

  47. Im 29 right now, and people that are 19 are literally children to me (I mean they’re still teenagers!). I would be worried. Sounds predatorial and off.

  48. As a 34 year old guy, the thought of dating someone even in their early 20s sounds entirely unenjoyable and unfulfilling. Being with someone fresh out of highschool sounds just.. worse..

  49. 10 years isn’t a whole lot when you’re in your 30s or 40s, but 19 and 29 are worlds apart. You are smart to be suspicious. Men who pursue barely legal women usually do so with ill intentions. Please get away from this creep!

  50. There is no good reason for a 29 year old man to seek out teenagers to date and have sex with. He’s taking advantage of you. His attempts to make you more “comfortable” with sex sounds like grooming to me.

  51. I would be very worried. This sounds manipulative to me. As a 29 year old, there is nothing I could possibly want from a relationship with a 19 year old.

  52. As someone who made that exact mistake, don’t. I’m 37 and can look back and see that he took advantage of me due to my age.

  53. I wasn't convinced it was a bad situation until I got to the part about teaching you lots about relationships and, especially, sex. By the time you mention he's 'trying to get you more comfortable with sexual things" alarm bells were ringing.

  54. For the most part, imo, any guy nearly 30 and going after girls around the 20 mark is likely doing so because women his own age can see through his bullshit, so he is preying on naivety. Life changes you ALOT between 20 and 30.

  55. Im a now 29F and I have two kids with a man (37) who I met when I was 20. He was 29. Were are not together anymore, because I can see now why no woman his age wanted him 10 years ago..

  56. I’m a 29 year old man, and I agree: get away from the dude. Legal doesn’t always mean ethical. There are so many things that happen to a person in those 10 years regarding mental development and maturity. He is going to lean hard on his age and “maturity” to manipulate you and take advantage of you.

  57. I'm 30 and would absolutely not date a 20 year old. They're adolescents and I'm an adult. It's weird weird weird. I feel like a dad to girls that age.

  58. I'm only 23 and I wouldn't touch a 19 year old, and I'd probably judge my peers if they did. There is not a 29 year old on earth who really sees a 19 year old as an equal partner. I wouldn't go for it.

  59. Absolutely yes, there is something wrong with any man who would want to date a 19 yr old at 29. I'm 26 and it would still be a strong no, ick from me.

  60. Guys that date seriously younger women are BIG WAVING RED FLAGS! He WILL take advantage of you, he WILL turn you against your friends, and he WILL dump you eventually.

  61. I just recently turned 38, and if I weren't already married, probably the absolute youngest I would go would be 34. Tbh once you go beyond that kind of a gap, I would have to imagine that your interests would be worlds different.

  62. It matters less when you’re older. 29/39 is ok and no one will bay an eye at 39/49 but men that age or older that date women still in their teens have issues.

  63. Also for anyone contemplating this. When a guys says "you're not line the other girls" that just mean you're the only one who believed his lies.

  64. If you are 19 your brain has 6 more years till it has fully developed. I do not intend to belittle you or put you down, just a lot happens between 20-25. 25-30 is even more crazy. I would be wary to ignore the age gap.

  65. Ten years is too much at your age, your instincts are trying to protect you. Don’t be in a rush for a serious relationship, you have all the time in the world. Make sure you really know who you are and what you want for your life before you get too involved with any guy.

  66. Men his age only go for women as young as you because they know women his age won’t put up with his crap. He is deliberately seeking out a more immature (no offence) partner. I’m 31 and the idea of dating someone 10 years my junior is incredibly unappealing as there is a lot of emotional maturity and growth that happens during your 20s.

  67. As a 34 year old lesbian, let me tell you something, anyone under the age of 25 years old looks like a child to me. I obviously am not a man but a 30 year old MAN should not be pursuing a 19 year old GIRL.

  68. I was 17 when a 24yo man scooped me up- he controlled and abused me for 10 years then divorced me for a 19yo. He had a porn addiction and was attracted to “happy girls that shaved properly” lol

  69. I'm 29 now and couldn't even imagine dating a woman 10 years younger than me. The maturity gap between us would be massive. I also can't even imagine there would be much we'd have in common.

  70. I know you've decided that it's time to nope out of the situation (btw super proud of you). I just wanted to add that you should always trust your gut and intuition.

  71. There’s that rule of thumb of the “half your age plus 7” idea, and that’s not even a good one. Like I would not date a 19 year old, and I’m only 24. Imagine a 30 year old looking to date a 19 year old. What this man is doing to OP is disgusting and I’m glad she’s having second thoughts. PLEEEEASE be worried about this. You two are in drastically different places in life. No 29 year old man should be looking at a girl fresh out of high school. There are reasons women his age are avoiding him

  72. I felt weird dating a 24 year old when I was 26. After that 25+ really feels like the hard limit. I'm glad everyone here seems to feel the same way ha.

  73. Always ask yourselves, why isn't the 29 year old dating his own age? Those answers you come up with give a lot of insight about the relationship you might be heading into and if you want it.

  74. Yeah. The age gap is a red flag, and coupled with the fact that you’re inexperienced and he is “teaching” you about sex things…. Big nope!! Good for you for recognizing and questioning it.

  75. It’s huge. At 19 you have different lives completely. A 29 year old looking for a teenage girlfriend is looking for someone he can control and won’t question him

  76. At 19 my mom still had to help me fill out paperwork like financial forms for college. I mostly paid rent on time. I was nervous about scheduling doctors appointments or getting maintenance done on my car. Basically I was a kid still.

  77. I accidentally dated someone 28 (he lied about his age 🙄 loser) when I was 20 and even that was stupid. What a moron. They date young because they feel inferior and use you to feel like a man. The age gap isn’t the problem per se, but you are still at an age where you are developing as a person and older men know it. It’s gross. Be grossed out by this mfer.

  78. Yes. You should be very worried. Ask yourself, would u date someone 10 years younger? No because they'd be a child to you. Same thing here. Theyre 10 years your senior.

  79. Also OP, hes making you comfortable with sexual things? thats literally grooming. also you said you met him a couple of months back. does that mean you were even younger when you first met him?

  80. As a 28 year old male, it would feel like grooming for me to be with a 19 year old. When you're 29 you'll look at 19 year olds and see them at kids. I would nope tf out if I were you.

  81. As a 28 year old, this skeeves me the fuck out. I remember 19. And no 29 yr old has any business going after and "teaching" 19 year olds unless it's to be their student professor in college

  82. When I was 22, I thought it was creepy for 24 year old college grads to go out with 19 year old college women.

  83. First off, I'm really proud of you OP for recognizing the situation you're in and asking for advice. That's a big step.

  84. When I was 30, I was paired with a 18 year old girl as my work partner. I had to go into "big mama fuck off mode" because men would come outta no where to flirt and stare at her. Interrupting our work, following her, asking about her schedule. Men of every age. Married men, pairs of men, Frighteningly unwashed and wearing too much jewelry kind of men. They would promise her money, phones and cars for a single date.

  85. To compare, would you date a 16 year old? Several other posts have said it, there’s a lot of big life changes that happen between 19 and 29. Similarly a ton of changes in your teen years. If it would feel weird to date a 16-year-old, perhaps it should also feel weird to date someone in the other direction at such a different life stage.

  86. Im early 30s and would not even consider dating anyone younger than late twenties. 10+ age gap matters less and less as the younger party gets older and older.

  87. Relationships are supposed to be between 2 equal partners. If anything feels unbalanced... it is not good, at any age. I also agree that "him teaching you" is weird.... if anything you both should be experimenting together.. as a couple

  88. 30M here, please get out of this relationship. The fact that he's the one trying to get you more comfortable with sexual things is a GIGANTIC red flag.

  89. Just popping in to say I'm very glad you posted this. Highly likely it's a grooming situation and you do NOT deserve all the garbage that comes down the line from where y'all are at now. Just be careful with breaking things off, make sure you're safe, & maybe find a trusted adulter-adult to talk to about this so you have a support if it goes sideways.

  90. Red Flags for sure. I agree with other people on here saying that If you were 29 and he was 39 ..no problem. There are men in the world that start late but his language does not seem to reflect that.

  91. This seems like a man trying to figure out how to groom a 20 year old. I'm grossed out by the original text and the comments. Ladies, remember we have to protect the vulnerable l.

  92. 10 years isn’t terrible once you’re like, 30+ and stabilized - you know who you are, you have a career, you’re not going to be easily manipulated or trapped because you have your roots firmly planted. But 19?! Stay away from this man. He is a predator. He’s kind now, but he will likely become manipulative and potentially abusive, telling you things that are messed up are “normal” and you just don’t get it yet, etc.

  93. When you turn 29, try to imagine dating a 19 yr old without feeling like a total creep. It's a ridiculous age gap. The younger you are the bigger the difference. For example a 60 year old dating a 50 year old is no biggie, but an 18 year old dating an 8 year old is unfathomable lol. Run girl.

  94. Only pedophiles and fucked up like to go for people your age if they are over 25. Not to be offensive, but it's a stark contrast in maturity that you get rather rapidly as the real work smashes your ass flat. I do not know a single person over 25 that would ever seek a relationship or even entertain the notion of a relation ship in early 20s late teens... Unless they wanted something out of it.

  95. Stay far away, there's no good reason a man his age is interested in someone not even out of their teen years. It won't end well. At your age you are better off sticking to someone no more than a couple of years older than you.

  96. for the love of all that is good, please don't do it. Looking forward looks way different than looking back. When I was 19, I looked at 24, 25, and 30-year-olds and thought, why not? But now I'm that I'm approaching 30, thinking of dating a 19-year-old is disgusting.

  97. No period. Full stop. Even if he isn't a bad man it just isn't the smart move, be with someone closer to your age for obvious reasons (life goals, maturity, interests, family, social circles etc.)

  98. Yes, you're still a bit too young for that level of age gap. Sorry thats legal, but creepy as fuck still

  99. Love your edit and I’m glad you’ve found sisterhood here :). You’ve got some awesome life advice in these replies, but I also want to say how honestly you’ve spoken about your concerns tells me you’ve got a great head on your shoulders! Happy days ahead for you my friend x

  100. It’s not so much the age gap, cuz a 30 and 40yo would probably be fine. it’s the fact that being 19 is a whole different world than being almost 30. I realize this when I’m at any event where I get to interact with teenagers. They may look like adults but the maturity is not there (and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s how it should be) - so yes I am glad you decided against it. Perhaps when you are 30, you will realize what we mean :)

  101. I was 19, and was groomed by a man who was 33. I was stupid and naive. I thought he was kind and exciting. First sign of trouble he ran for the hills and told me, you're young you'll be fine.

  102. Yeah it’s a massive life difference between those ages. Not trying to infantilize you but you’re still a teen and he’s practically 30. He’s lived a lot more life than you, should really not have things in common with someone your age. The dynamic could wind up being really abusive or controlling down the road.

  103. Coming from the other side of that, I can tell you that at 19 you are a very different person than you will be at, say, 25. If you were 39 and 49, I’d say no problem at all, but you stand a very good chance of being unhappy in the somewhat near future. Why waste the time? I don’t know for sure, but I’m using past experience and letting you know the likelihood of something going sideways in the foreseeable future.

  104. I was 19 and dated a 29/30 year old for 8 months. It was a terribly abusive relationship, but I only realized that after the fact. It was so lovely at first and I thought it was good for the most part. Now five years later I can recognize it as the predatory relationship it was. I could never imagine pursuing a relationship with someone 19 even at 24!

  105. When you are 29, you will think back on this man and be absolutely disgusted. He is a creep and you deserve better. If you want information about sex and relationships from an older person, absolutely do not get it from a man.

  106. I met a man when I was 19, he was 28. We dated for a year and a half, and were engaged. He and his family were incredibly (read scary) religious, and I grew up in a strict Catholic household. There was woman’s work and man’s work in that family. And although I grew up strict Catholic, that’s not how I viewed life. Fast forward to us fighting over what religion we would raise our (non existent) children in, and it ended. I was his FOURTH failed engagement. How I didn’t see all the red flags…. But I was a child. I sent the ring back about five months after we broke up and he responded telling me he was married. After FIVE MONTHS of our split. I think about her every once in a while and hope she’s okay. That dude was wack. Learn from my experience, OP. You’ll be proud of yourself later.

  107. Sweetie, I was groomed for three years at the age of fifteen by a 37 year old man. Who then married me when I turned eighteen.

  108. If he’s interested in you when you’re 19, you won’t be interested in him when you’re 29. Because you’ll have grown up by then, and you wouldn’t want to date a 19-year-old. So if he does, then he’s got issues.

  109. I've known people with similar age gaps make a relationship work, but it requires the younger party to be VERY mature for their age and almost nobody is, despite what they might think. To me the bigger concern is how you phrased the relationship with sentences like this;

  110. I’m 25 and the idea of dating a 19 year old is stressful. There are SO many things you haven’t done yet (in a good way!!) that the kinds of conversations the two of you are having about life should be vastly different. If they’re not, then that’s icky. He knows this. Please believe that he knows this.

  111. I did it. 20-30 age gap. As I grew and matured he didn’t. He went after a young person because the women his age weren’t interested. Dudes like this don’t normally grown up at a normal pace in my experiwnce. I spent 5 years and bought a house before I realized it was going nowhere. Now my husband is my age. Good luck!

  112. Darling, I’m going to say this in the nicest way I can. You’re still a baby. Do you want a man who wants to date a baby?

  113. Just saw this post - happy to see the edit - thanks to everyone who stepped it. I know Demi Lovato just released a song about their relationship and it broke my heart.

  114. watch the power dynamic, if he tries to use his resources to guilt or pressure u into doing something, then run. Otherwise enjoy the additional benefits of dating an older guy xD more money, more mature, etc

  115. I dated a 31 year old as a 19 year old and I thought it was OK at the time. I am now 38 and very very creeped out by this and him anytime I think about it. It turns my stomach.

  116. Hey saw this after your edit OP and just wanna say I’m so proud of you for being suspicious, asking for help, and being open to advice!! I can’t say the same for myself at 19 and certainly was worse off for it. Some of us learn the hard way, but we’d rather you learn from our mistakes 💓

  117. In my opinion, if you're already worrying about these things it's not worth pursuing. Follow your gut, it usually picks up on things before you consciously realize what is wrong.

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