Just got back from a cruise and my wife ruined our vacation

  1. This. You've got undeniable proof the other party was way over the line too. Your wife flipped out because she knows she's in the wrong.

  2. Even so, whether or not it was “just dancing” is neither here nor there. She crossed a boundary that her partner wasn’t okay with, and she is invalidating his feelings. As you said though, even the other guy’s woman thought it was inappropriate

  3. An apology? Bitch knew the bar was closed and her man was gonna have to leave to get her a drink. She wanted him to leave so she could go dance with this other guy. Fuck that!

  4. Indeed she does owe OP an apology. When/if she admits fault and makes that apology, you gotta accept it and move on. When/if she doesn’t, you’ll have to kick some dirt on that shit and move on, unless you’re prepared to get divorced over a drunken mistake. Never act outside of your character. If you aren’t mean to your partner then you can’t be mean when they fuck up, either. It’s hard, bro, but you gotta be nice. In the end you will feel better about it.

  5. This leads me to think she’s doing stuff behind his back. Yeah. Alcohol. But alcohol can just reveal true intentions sometimes. I would have a hard time trusting her now.

  6. Yeah I guess one good thing is she doesn’t drive, so she is home literally 24/7. She cheated on me once when we first got together and I believe that she hasn’t since. We’ve had a long heart to heart this afternoon and she feels terrible about it and cannot stop crying and apologizing

  7. Honestly, I saw the post you made from a few months ago about how your wife bashed you for the way you coped with your sexual abuse. And after reading this post…

  8. No worries the thing is she and I have each other’s phones all the time (ordering from sites and things like that). Her brother unfortunately doesn’t work after leaving California two years ago and he literally doesn’t leave the house unless he’s getting food or weed

  9. This is going to sound crazy, but I got off a 7-day cruise in the Caribbean yesterday and may have seen the beginning of this and have info. DM me if the time frame lines up.

  10. I've been obliterated drunk hundreds of times and not once have I ever come close to disrespecting my significant other, myself, or a third party in a manner such as this.

  11. I would have lost my damn mind if my wife did that. I probably would have had an out right panic attack. Grinding on some strangers dick.. Not cool.

  12. I saw your comment saying she has cheated before. Cheaters are gonna cheat. If I was you I would get a paternity test for the kids and observe her just to make sure she hasn’t/isn’t cheated on you.

  13. My dude I am positive the request that you get her a drink was deliberate especially if the bar was closed or about to close, I’m pretty sure she knew exactly what she was going to do. And believe me I’m not trying to make you feel worse but you should have also never tolerated her whole “dancing is dancing” schtick all these years as that enabled her for sure. Either way sorry that your vacation of all things took this turn and I do hope you guys work things out!

  14. Yeh I'd say this is accurate, however op is on some next level copium. Next thing you know she's fucking some guy but it's cool because it's just a "no pants dance", therefore it's just dancing it's fine

  15. Read OP's posting history. You're wife bashed you for your coping mechanism regarding sexual abuse? I think there are many things wrong and you make one excuse after another.

  16. She also nearly divorced him a few years back because a guy in the Army had a crush on him. If this stuff is real, it's toxic af.

  17. "its just a dance i made up, its call the BEEJAY, you bop up and down with your mouth on a cock"

  18. Ya that's not right pal. The end of my marriage started many years before the actual end. I just didn't think it was possible at the time. But I found out in the end that all the dance club and get aways were all just her craving/getting attention from other dudes. Nothing wrong with friends of the opposite sex but your gut knows when enough is enough.

  19. She crossed the boundaries, now it's your time to take action. Otherwise you will just be a doormat for her. Never let anyone to walk over you. Never Ever.

  20. The fact that you think this story is long winded is sad and tells me you don’t get to speak your mind much. I’m sorry this happened and your wife was way out of line.

  21. How did she start, dancing, with him? Did they both lose their spouses and immediately find someone to grope?

  22. Unless you have some sort of understanding, shit like that in a relationship is out of bounds. You are very well justified in your feelings. If your wife wanted to have some sort of understanding prior to the event where you agreed that you can dance with others, that'd be one thing, but no such thing happened from what you described.

  23. I’m so sick of the “I was drunk!” excuse. If alcohol has you behaving this way, consider cutting back or maybe not doing it all. Especially if it’s a pattern.

  24. Lol! The OP said she has already cheated on him once that he knows of and her freaking loser brother lives with them.

  25. You knowww, there's other ways one can dance that does not include grinding intimate areas against other people nor touching other people in general

  26. Oh wonder what she will think of you commenting “I would suck a fart out of that and hold it in like a bong rip!” On another woman’s ass pic. Yikes.

  27. if she's having a midlife crisis and wants to whore out, if it was me i'd cut her off and let her live her life. i need to live my life too... without insecurity.

  28. If your wife has a history of grinding on men and you let it slide, this is nobody’s fault but yours bro. Especially since you say she’d slap you across the face for doing the same thing. You should’ve set boundaries a long time ago, now you’re dealing with the BS that comes with that. You either need to set them now or leave

  29. The drunk slut routine. You were upset, the other man's wife was upset with her husband, and it could have gotten really ugly (imagine if you hadn't been there to de-escalate). These two were misbehaving. I am sorry that happened to you guys! That stinks!

  30. I think something im not seeing a lot of people bring up is the fact that you where clearly upset and her response was to scream and yell at you? Thats horrible of her

  31. Idk why you got screamed at but your wife’s behavior was out of line. Time for some serious talking and is this really crossed the line for you, that’s it.

  32. How disrespectful. Why do woman do things they would never allow us to do. My girl has male friends and it's A O K. But she says snide derogatory remarks about any of my female friends that ive had for many many years. I just don't understand their reasoning.

  33. I once had a boyfriend who wouldn't let me have any males friends, while he on the other hand, had almost exclusively female friends. Some people are just trash.

  34. Everyone is basically saying “If she’s cheated on you in the past, she’ll do it again”. While that rings true for many situations, nobody can say it’s a guarantee. It’s also very easy to tell someone to end something when they’re on the outside.

  35. I know it wasn't sex but that was still pretty intimate to do with another guy. I think that's why it made your stomach churn. Do you think she gets that though?

  36. Of course, she balled her eyes out the following morning and hasn’t stopped apologizing. But today was our real come to Jesus meeting because it’s kinda hard handling a situation like that while in a 200 sqft room on a boat

  37. I'd bet this month's rent that she's telling all of her friends and possibly some of yours how "cOnTrOlInG aNd AbUsIvE" you were and how you ruined the trip.. also from the way you say "normally I wouldn't get mad because dancing is just dancing to her" it makes me feel really bad knowing that she's conditioned you to believe that this appearently frequent behavior I'd acceptable.. Your partner sounds like an absolute emotionally abusive manipulator

  38. “These hoes, they for everybody. Pass them all around they at every party. They ain’t gonna be loyal not for anybody. Still I love these hoes.” -Juicy J

  39. Yeah she’s told me that she’s self evaluating how she acts in public. Even our kids noticed that she’s a completely different person when drinking

  40. She’s literally manipulating you. You need to leave as fast as you can and get yourself someone that will actually care for you. When I say leave immediately I mean, within the next 12 hours. But get all of your divorce papers ready so she doesn’t have a chance. Talk to lawyers ebfore mentioning anything to her.

  41. Hey bro, that’s some unforgiving shit right there. Fuck if she’s drunk, u know damn well who ur partner is drunk or high. I wouldn’t trust her for shit

  42. If this happened to me I would make it very clear that if it happens again, she'll be packing up her shit and leave for good. My lawyer would let her know the court date. That simple.

  43. fuck that double standard shit. she crossed a line. there’s actual dancing and then there’s blatantly dry humping. sounds like she either can’t handle her boose or she has very little respect for your relationship. if i was the other guys gf i would have slapped the taste out of both their mouths. i’m sorry you had to deal with that.

  44. She probably thinks you ruined the vaca, I tend to agree.. If dancing has always just been dancing I'm sure this occasion was no different.. From what I understand YOU were the one acting out.. She was just having fun, not like she was fucking him on the dance floor, she touched his face while dancing! and it's not like she was gonna go back to his room or anything.. These guys who think just cause your dancing you may as well been fucking.. get over it geez!

  45. Going off the post and your comments, you should leave. She’s cheated on you in the past, and now she’s dancing on another guy. Not to mention, you’re both making excuses for it by saying she’s “just dancing” or “was too drunk to realize what she was doing”. Please just listen to yourself once and think about the patterns.

  46. It’s always easy for someone to say “just leave”. But it’s not that easy. When you’ve been with someone for over 20 years (married in 2005, together since 2003). But we are good bro

  47. I'm going to take the unpopular opinion here, not because I like to post dissenting opinions but because I see this differently. Yes perhaps your wife did go too far. But she was drunk. Sometimes drunk people do that. Your assumption that things would have gone farther is ridiculous. They were on a dance floor. I highly doubt that she would have stripped down and fucked his brains out right there on the dance floor. I also doubt that she would have run off to your cabin with him. I think she was drunk and having a good time dancing. If you're the type of person that believes that the only person in the world that your wife can dance with is you then that's your belief but it's also very outdated. Who's to say that when she saw you come back in she wouldn't have left him to begin dancing with you, the love of her life who she's been with for 20 years. Dancing can be very sensual but it doesn't necessarily mean that there's anything else going on other than dancing. After 20 years with this woman in a few moments of watching her dancing you suddenly lose all faith and trust that you've had and developed over 20 years? Of course this is my opinion and I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. Instead of thinking "God my wife is beautiful and she's having such a good time" and it making you happy you chose to see the worst possible aspect.

  48. you sound like such a nice guy. why do the bitchiest women always get the nicest guys? so unfair. my husband wouldn't put up with that shit for one second, lol. but I wouldn't do that either. I hope you work things out OP and I hope your wife appreciates you and does better in the future.

  49. Wouldn’t trust her homie. Not saying jump to divorce, but SHE has to earn your trust back. And if she can’t even accept full responsibility, then what hope is there for you?

  50. Honestly. Thats relationship ending material and I would convey that. Her screaming is gaslighting and would be the last nail.

  51. I was on a cruise for a honeymoon with my ex-wife. We run into a group of similar aged people from our home state. Turns out my ex had cheated on me at some point before we got married with one of the guys and I found out during the trip.

  52. Next time you’re out with your wife. Dance with another woman and do the same thing she did just make sure she is looking.

  53. As a woman, this is absolutely not ok. First, I would never grind on anyone except my husband. Second, face touching is intimate. No no no. You should be angry and tell her she crossed boundaries.

  54. Completely fucked up and disgusting. I would've slapped her in front of the entire club definitely. Gender doesnt matter to me

  55. she's DRUNK and you actually left the club to get more drink.. and you KNOW she likes to dance like this.. come on man.. I'm 36, married 10 years, I won't take my wife to any place i won't want things like this to happen, i have been to a club once with her in 10 years, and that was with a group of friends and we all had A drink (singular) and chilled the rest of the time, listening to music (too loud anyway).. i think this was your WARNING SHOT of where to NOT go with your WIFE.. this shit is for single people, it's time you start to realize the safe zones of being married.

  56. My friend I know you’ve been married for 20 years. But I have a sneaky suspicion your wife may be cheating on you. If she thinks what she was doing is acceptable with another man, then what else is she doing when you’re not around.

  57. Relax she's having some fun grinding her ass on somebody, I bet you'd like to do that to some hot girls to, she shouldn't have done it while you were there like I'm sure you wouldn't if she was there. But it's all just fugazi in the end

  58. Honestly I’ve had opportunities in the past, especially in Iraq where it was literally thrown at me. And I still couldn’t do it, I respect and love her too much to do something of that magnitude

  59. Well, it depends on agreed boundaries, doesn't it. I don't mind a bit of suggestive dancing and wouldn't hold it against my partner but the face touching is weird.

  60. What about talking about if she needs more space in the relationship and talking about boundaries. Discussing what is okey for you and what not and the same from her side. Tend to help preventing those situations !

  61. Maybe I'm just the jealous type. But, grinding on some other dude is not "just dancing." I wouldn't be allowed to have some girl grinding on me, nor would I want some girl grinding on me (unless my wife of course). You have every right to be upset. Sounds like you 2 need to have a serious talk. Hope it goes well!

  62. Yeah that isn’t okay. Don’t let this live rent free in your head. This isn’t normal behavior and she should have taken accountability for it. If I am on a cruise and had drinks in me I am solely dancing with my husband and my husband only. You have every right to be upset and confront her about it. Just sucks she won’t admit her shortcoming and won’t think about your feelings with this.

  63. Please just divorce her u don't even know what she's doing behind your back just do yourself a favour

  64. Don't let her gaslight you like that. At minimum you both need marriage counseling, at worst this isn't the first time she's sought out a potential affair.

  65. You should bring home a random lady to cuddle with on the couch. When your wife arrives, make sure she knows "it's just watching a movie, geez, dramatic much?"

  66. Dude.. I go to clubs all the time and my bf is disinterested in the scene, what’s super easy though is NOT dancing like that with other people. Bottom of the barrel respect, try to enjoy your vacation though I’m sure it’s beautiful there

  67. I’m addition to the valid points made here, perhaps I’ll suggest you both sit down and revisit discussions about healthy boundaries and conduct around the opposite sex.

  68. If it was “just dancing” then she wouldn’t have screamed and yelled at you after you brought it up to her later on.

  69. When women cheat it’s usually emotional. She’s probably not emotionally into you any longer. Be careful my dude.

  70. Not a AITA post, but you're definitely NTA. She owes you an apology. Like you said, if the roles were reversed, then she would have freaked out.

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