I wonder what kind of car The Loch Ness monster drives

  1. Haha. My dad did something similar except I live in Australia and up until I was 9, I thought the loch ness moster lived in sydney harbour and that was why there was a warship docked in the harbour. To protect us if the monster came up to attack us.

  2. Not a casual jaunt for a Celtic plesiosaur to swim down the River Ness, out and around the North sea, around the coast of Africa and across the Indian Ocean, but aye lad it's a trip worth taking to eat aussie children

  3. My dad told me there was a large lake serpent/monster in the lake my family had a cottage in when I was a kid. Told me he saw it chasing his fishing boat. I didn’t comfortably swim in the lake until I was almost 18.

  4. I remember seeing Jaws when I was maybe 6, and being sure that there was a non-zero chance that a shark could burst up through the bottom of a bathtub.

  5. I thought the ocean was under my tub and was scared to put my fingers near the drain. I don’t think I ever even saw Jaws, just stupid.

  6. You just gave me a flashback, I was 10-11 years old and my much older sister was babysitting. She let me watch BOTH VHS of the movie IT, and I didn't poop for 2 days because I was terrified a clown was going to come out of the drain and steal my soul.

  7. I was confinced that there was a Kraken in our local lake when I was a child. You see, about 20m into the lake, there's this cliff that leads straight down into the abyss. Like, you can't see the ground anymore, which basically means at least 50m deep if you're a kid (I think it's 7m really). So yeah, if there's this huge gaping hole at the bottom of the lake, there's gotta be at least one Kraken and one Snapping Turtle, right?

  8. WEEEEELL it was about that time that I noticed this "girl scout" was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. I said DAMNIT MONSTA GET OFF MY LAWN!

  9. As we were driving up to our new house my dad made sure to point all of the points that the beaver-lizard had attacked kids in the past. It hadn’t killed any but it was growing bigger and more bold.

  10. Don't let him hear about Boris Johnson, who actually knows how to drive, probably has a car and unlike Nessy doesn't mind his own fucking business.

  11. My nephew wanted me to look under his bed for monsters. I did. No monsters. ‘They’re in the ceiling’ I explained. His mom called me at 2am about why he wouldn’t go to sleep

  12. If a whale could make his penis wave and twist like that, that would be interesting. Also useful if we could figure out how to do it.

  13. Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question: Why are you here?

  14. It’s funny you say that. My niece is almost 3, and she’s Canadian, I was up there visiting this last week. And she went through a small phase of being afraid of “Aunt Kiki” one of her aunts. because she had a dream that “Aunt Kiki was a dinosaur, and she hurt COUSIN on the train tracks!”. It was pretty funny.

  15. Not a huge fans of doing this to kids. It's not clever or creative, it scares kids, etc...even without all that, it's just a bad joke.

  16. When I was a kid I used to think the airing cupboard in the bathroom was called a Loch for some reason. And I thought that was where The Loch Ness monster lived. I was terrified of the bathroom for ages.

  17. Me as a kid after reading abook on the Blair witch. I was absolutely paranoid the witch that kills people who enter Blair forest in America was going to travel to rural Australia to kill me.

  18. Ahh finally a Twitter account I actually follow! He's a seriously funny guy and a great video games writer, worth checking out

  19. I was this kid for a few years in elementary school. I was terrified about Bigfoot being real and showing up in my town. Eventually, I worked through the fear and moved onto much more debilitating one: aliens.

  20. Friends story back during the hurricanes in 2004 or 2005. We're from Minnesota and maybe 14-15, his sister who was maybe 10 at them time was super scared that the hurricane would get us. Their parents calmed her down and said hurricanes are only over water. My friend chimed in with land of 10,000 lakes.

  21. Now when he misbehaves... You just threaten to call Nessi to come right over... She's just twenty minutes away!

  22. Just burst his bubble that it can't exist lmao. I love cryptids, and how many are possible to be real, but the Loch Ness monster can't exist. Much of the Loch's fish migrate through a canal that tons of people would notice if a fucking dinosaur waddled through, that alone is damning. Not to mention the most famous pictures are debunked.

  23. Some old British Leyland remnant from the 70s. No worries, kid: The monster will never get anywhere with that car...

  24. I once saw a movie about a panther when I was 10. Panther scared me and I couldn't sleep. I told my Mom and she calmly explained the only panthers near by are in a zoo. No more than 5 minutes went by when news broke about a panther escaping the local zoo and I didn't go to bed for the entire night.

  25. Don't wanna be a downer but I was a kid that was terrified of fictional things and it ruined my childhood and today I have OCD and GAD. If they start losing weight or washing their hands obsessively or something.

  26. I then found out that girl scout was a seven story tall loch ness monster! he said imma need about tree fiddy.

  27. Used to have similar phobia except that it was my dead grandma. I took around 2 hours to drive to her graveyard and I'm imagining it float slow and steady towards my house

  28. He won’t eat ye lad, but he does need tree fiddy. I’m a bit strapped, so I need it from your allowance so I can stop him.

  29. When I babysat, I told kids that oil spots were kids that didn't hold a grown ups hand in the street. If you don't hold hands crossing the street, you turn into an oil spot.

  30. Lol if he is scared of nessy wait till he finds out about the nuklavee (not sure if I spelled that right) or the hippocampus. Both are not too fond of humans. The first will pursue them on sight the other waits in bogs and bodies of water to drown you when it sinks your ship not very fun lol then there is the little creature that the fairies switch infants with that grows up to look like the child it was switched with. (Can't remember the name of that one at the moment) or the anamithim which are supposedly a type of faerie that consume humans body and soul based on their resonance aka their shine or soul very hard to find myths related to them but when they come for you ebey thing is enveloped in darkness or they pull you into pocket dimension where you can't escape and they take you body and soul never to be seen again and as an added effect when they do all who know you forget you like you never existed just poof from the hearts and minds of those people blue is the only color to ward them off. And it also acts as a binding agent. Making them a physical part of the world and tangible basically the only way you can bargain with em is to do that because then they gain a physical body and can be killed as in forcing them back into the spiritual plane where they can't harm you.

  31. So in my country, there is a monster that eats little children, and can get from city to city almost instantly. It leaves millions of people childless and collects homeless people. It’s called “Nancy Pelosi”

  32. I remember watching Lost Tapes’ episode of the Wendigo when I was 7 and came out terrified that at night it could jump out through this one window of my house and eat me. Since then I haven’t really viewed the woods as the same either.

  33. It either drives a mom mobile or a sketchy white van, it can disguise it’s self as people suck as mailmen and soccer moms

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