Update 4 to Baseball MIL

  1. Ugh, your story feels uncomfortably familiar in terms of my own wedding eight years ago. The tantrums. The completely unacceptable, focus-pulling “surprises” that are DESIGNED to throw you off balance. The bride’s sense of dread. OP, I’m so sorry.

  2. I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I’d disinvite them both at this point. Good luck, I don’t really know what else to say.

  3. This type of circus is why I went to the courthouse and got married my second marriage. The first was a huge wedding full of stupid people acting stupid the entire time. Inlaws, even guests who crashed, to my grandpa refusing to come because it was too cold outside. (The wedding and reception were indoors and I was the first of his daughter's children to marry). I was married 11 years and the whole time was just an extension of all that same behavior. My second husband went alone to the courthouse and married, then emailed our families that we got married. We've been married 16 years❤️. Keeping it simple keeps it in context- it's for your two, and your happiness, and you need to ignore the heck out of everything and anyone else that isn't about supporting you two and what you want and HOW you want it.

  4. Idk where you are in the world but if you are in the southeast I’ll come play security/babysitter. I’m quite skilled with crazy.

  5. We don’t know if she’s bringing them with her for her drive here or trying to bring them to the wedding. It’s already no pets allowed so idk how she thinks she’s sneaking in a big ass pitbull

  6. I’m going to echo the advice I saw on one of your previous posts. What are you going to regret in the future? My therapist calls this the path of least harm. Both options suck.

  7. Sounds to me like SIL and MIL are no longer invited to the wedding. Have any large friends to help keep them out?

  8. She’s weirdly loyal to her mom, despite the fact that they went almost a year without speaking because they physically fought each other. They made up when my FIL died. So I’m sure she thinks she’s protecting and standing up for her mom

  9. None of this matters in the big picture, don’t let it steal your joy! Inform the DJ there are no special dances and just IGNORE HER! She wants the drama, the attention and the chaos but don’t give it to her. Love on your husband, celebrate with friends and your family and be respectful. She will be so pissed, it will be a great reward as you head off to your new life with the man who chose you over her….you are the winner!!

  10. Blanket statement. “We’ve already addressed this. There will be no spotlight dances.” Repeat each time they bring it up. Don’t engage in discussions or arguments about it. No one needs an explanation.

  11. Take a few deep breaths. Keep your focus on your future happiness and do not pay any mind to her attempt to create chaos for you. Simply do not allow it. You are very busy being excited and have no time for attention seeking drama. No last minute changes, no spotlight (SERIOUSLY‽). YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED, YAY YOU AND YOUR SO❣

  12. Tell them is they keep this shit up they are both un-invited to the wedding. You don't need this behavior on your wedding day. Do not cave into MIL on anything, This sets a bad precedent going forward. It will only get worse if you let her get her way by whining and guilt tripping.

  13. If MIL and SIL can't be uninvited, any foreseeable shenanigans from them should be planned for and prevented so they can't destroy all your joy in the day.

  14. I’m concerned about the father/daughter dance as well for my wedding, because I lost my dad to cancer and I still very easily get upset about it. I know my FMIL will freak out if she doesn’t get a mother/son dance, because she also needs a spotlight on her at any occasion. Good luck.

  15. I saw an adorable video of all then men in the brides life coming and dancing with her for a few seconds with pics of her and her dad in the backround. Her mom planned it. I cried.

  16. I’m so sorry you also lost your father as well :( I wish I had any advice for you on this. Obviously what we chose didn’t go well. But bowing down to whatever your MIL isn’t ideal either :(

  17. Y’all, that is so much easier said than done, as it may lead to tons more drama and chances for MIL and SIL to blame OP and get all vindictive during the wedding itself. I agree that they’re terrible, though.

  18. I am so sorry you are going through this. I just want to say I had an issue similar before my wedding and I had a family member “babysit” the person . Meaning watching what they did and literally sit next to them like a kid to make them stay in line. Is it possible to have a neutral person to do this so she doesn’t cause and issue if she comes to the wedding? Is it possible that your husband has a serious conversation about how at the wedding there will be no bad mouthing of you or any drama at all?

  19. Please hire security. Inform your MIL and SIL via text neither is allowed on the venue site(s). Even either show up, the police will be called. Inform your venue and vendors of the situation.

  20. I wish I could uninvite both of them at this point. But my therapist and my husband’s therapist both said it needs to be his decision and he needs to be the one who deals with them. So he decided not to uninvite his mom, that way she can’t blame him for not going. It will all be on her.

  21. Tell your fiancé that you want to elope or call off the wedding because his mother is destroying any joy for you.

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