What's one "type" you'll never date again?

  1. It comes in different forms, but I recently learned about "stonewalling" and it was crippling. Dismissing concerns, refusing to listen when your partner needs it, and generally getting defensive anytime a disagreement happens. Over time, it makes you feel angry, confused, and distrustful. So yeah, you definitely end up feeling like you're a problem, get irritable, worrisome, and are eventually pushed away for being like that.

  2. How am I supposed to know you actually love me if you won’t fly into a jealous rage at me blatantly flirting with other men ?? You’re being unreasonable.

  3. this too. My ex used to remind me a lot about the other options she had. I figured that I have an option too and went to grow weed and play CoD.

  4. My current gf does this and drives me insane with it. I tell her I feel she's never present because she's legit in her phone ALL FREAKING DAY and then she will freak out and claim I'm being "mean" to her. We went to this beautiful garden the other day and on the way I'm trying to talk to her about things and she's doing the yea... uh huh... yeah while scrolling insta...

  5. I was this guy at one time. I gained humility eventually. It took some people being blunt and me eventually doing some self reflection. I was not a good person. I'm sorry if you were one of the people I was insufferable with.

  6. Yo, I won’t even be friends with this type anymore. I had a friend who would constantly answer calls from her family when we were out. Every. Single. Time. And not a quick call no, no, no full hour long conversations. The last straw was when she was visiting me at my house and after literal hours I realized she had headphones on and was on an active call the entire time. Fuck. That.

  7. I admit, me and my SO will get on our phones sometimes when we’re at a restaurant and are waiting for the food, but that’s after we had been dating for awhile. Can’t imagine doing that during the initial courtship.

  8. Clingy girls. Like for real she made me sit on calls with her for 5 hours at a time and she barely said shit, i wasnt allowed to hang up or she'd have a fucking tantrum, and there's some extra things im not going to say here.

  9. When you meet your gfs parents in the lobby of the mental ward she’s been taken to without knowing they were coming and she had no visitors for 2 weeks, and then she gets out a week later, moves in with her ex, and you find out you’re the ex now and were a secret the whole time so now the parents hate you for being the cheateé… thanks Victoria, I just want the book I brought you back.

  10. Did this twice, won’t do it again. It was hurtful in the moment, but looking back on those memories, it was really just so damn Annoying having to tiptoe around all the time!

  11. As somebody who Is in the closet, this is why I intend to be extremely upfront about the fact that I am not out to my family and have no idea if I ever will come out whenever I meet a new potential partner.

  12. Someone who seems like a victim in life. I wanted so badly to help my ex out. To get her out of her shitty living situation. Help her get her finances and medical needs in order. I really stuck my neck out. Gave it 150%. Exhausted myself regularly just so I could help her out. I just wanted to see her quality of life improve. I just wanted her to feel like life was going ok.

  13. I had a partner that was similar to this. We were both younger, and had similar origins with religious backgrounds and breaking away from it. I decided to do more with my life. She hadn't. Eventutally she became more of project instead of a partner. I worked tirelessly to make her smile, and she absorbed all of my joy.

  14. Same with weed /cigarettes. Everytime I brought up any concern about their consumption I had to hear stuff like "you can't forbid me anything", while I NEVER tried to forbid them, I just wanted to talk about my worries. I was made to feel guilty for actually giving a fuck about the health of the person I was in love with.

  15. crunchy festival chicks. i like really natural girls but the last one i dated...oof. she was fun, charismatic, lots of cool friends, good music taste, affectionate and thoughtful...when she was sober. once she got to drinking or worse she turned into a monster. constant FOMO, always wanting to go out, you always need to be in the moment. "I don't care if you have work tomorrow, Moonsong just got some killer acid and we're going over to her place to trip tonight." "I just bought some good blow, you owe me 80 bucks." Just not worth it at all.

  16. I had a friend like this. He was all-in at the slightest mention of acid, festivals, smoke sesh, etc. He was a good dude but when you are in the Navy and he's trying to get you to drop acid at midnight on a Tuesday, it just doesn't work out well.

  17. My ex was a SoundCloud rapper and I hated all his music 😭 apparently they can see who listens to their music the most cause he got mad that I never listened to his stuff lmfao

  18. I've dated someone who 'made' me the person who should entertain them 24/7. I need my fucking space and my alone time and it just made me depressed and drink way too much because I felt suffocated...

  19. I don’t think people realise how important it is to have your own space in a relationship. Some people feel like they have to be together 24/7 for the relationship to be good. Sometimes being like passing ships in the night is a blessing in disguise

  20. This for sure. My ex had zero hobbies and it drove me up the wall. I loved her but I don't need to spend every single waking moment with you.

  21. Same. I had a lot of trauma growing up, a lot of codependency issues, which made me an easy mark for narcissists (or at least toxic, manipulative dudes). The last one just tried to hoover me back in last month, after ghosting me months ago and right after getting married to some other poor woman. Dude's a fucking mess. Never again.

  22. I don't know if this will be controversial or maybe it's obvious, but someone with a drug problem. Yes, maybe it's a disease. No, it doesn't make them a bad person. But it will ruin your life. Not just theirs, yours too 100%, no matter how together you are in your life personally it will seep over into your world.

  23. I can absolutely say that this is true. And I am currently fighting my way out of said relationship. And have also realized that I have developed a problem of my own. Hence why I am seeking counseling to get help to get out of the relationship. I was one of those “I can fix them“ type of people and I learned that I could not nor will I ever try to again.

  24. I've dated the "I have issues but don't need therapy" type who just self-diagnosed and didn't actually care about therapy at all. They became a living meme...

  25. I know I could improve my mental health but paying someone 150 an hour seems more detrimental to my mental health than just foregoing therapy.

  26. Hahaha, I remember a friend of mine meeting her partners mother and she asked SUPER personal questions about their sex life. I couldn't even imagine...

  27. I dated a guy in college. When I met his mom, he kissed her on the lips. He also very casually walked around the house (in front of parents) with morning wood.

  28. So this! My ex is almost 50 and his elderly mother is still paying his student loans, using her social security money! He goes to her house constantly, where she cooks him elaborate meals and does his laundry. He's often unemployed, and always underemployed, so she supports him with money she can't really afford to give. He's one of the most entitled people I've ever met.

  29. BROOOO my sis in law dated a guy like this. Mom critiqued everything from how she should begin cleaning his house (mom was currently doing it and wanted sis in law up to her standards) and other shit like this. Come to find out, Sis caught the fucker obsessing over YouTube vids of other children breastfeeding. She hailed ass

  30. I had the opposite with a girlfriend like that. Her mom was probably the biggest helicopter parent I've ever met. We were both adults yet even 2 years into the relationship she was absolutely livid if we were alone together at any point. Yet for some reason I put up with it for so long and she was the one that broke up with me.

  31. Women who’s moms are too involved are on the list for me too. Not interested in dating your mom, and in my experience those types of girls are just completely under the moms control.

  32. Unless they say that about themselves in a joking way. I have an ex (still friends with her, we just didn’t romantically work) who says she’s a bad bitch for buying two boxes of fudge pops when she went to the store for one.

  33. Someone who pins their happiness on a relationship. No hobbies, friends, doesn’t take care of their mental health. “As long as I have you it’s okay” like no- take care of yourself.

  34. Party girls. I don't mind going out myself now and then, but if every single weekend involves you having to go out and get absolutely destroyed, while putting yourself in dangerous situations and with people you don't know well, hard pass.

  35. I don’t know how to call a person like this, so I’ll give you example instead. Ex gf said that we should be a separate cell of society. She meant we should have only OUR friends, OUR hobbies and we should distance ourselves from parents and etc. I personally think, anyone can have a right on their personal life which is not connected to the relationships UPD: Thanks for every upvote and reply. You’re awesome!

  36. That's actually a type of abuse. They center your universe around them so you lose access to your support net and other people who care about you, making you easy to manipulate and take advantage of, because you have no external eye going "wow that was screwed up what they did to you".

  37. I moved around so much as a child that my only goal is to buy a little house for my daughter and I then never ever leave that house. She's still young, I want her to have a childhood home, and I'd like to be able to give her that home when she's grown and started her own life.

  38. That sounds self-centered as all fuck. They understood that you were having an emotional time you needed to work through, but they needed your primary emotions and engagement to be with them.

  39. Never again with DA's. Had a girl seem interested in me and asked me out. Being inexperienced with relationships and having low self esteem, I never brought myself to admit I wasn't happy with it. The chemistry was there, but despite starting the relationship, I couldn't even get her to tell me what kind of music she liked. Then suddenly she avoided me like the plague, became verbally abusive, and just left it at that while trying to monkey branch to other guys. The attachment theory subreddit has so many horror stories about them.

  40. The actual bad boy-drug addicted, drinker “I don’t give a fuck” type. Always abusive imo and the sex isn’t worth the panic attacks and heartache.

  41. Was that also accompanied with "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best - Marilyn Monroe"

  42. The "im an asshole to other but i like you" type. And just in general people who are so insecure you have to assure everything all day to them and they still get mad over nonsense.

  43. Entrepreneurs. I’ve met too many men who think that they’re on a path toward endless wealth when it’s really just Amway or some other scam. Even worse — when they expect you to support their delusions as if THE WORLD is against them.

  44. I had a roommate once that invited me to a party, and that "party" was a pitch for some subsidiary of amway. Like ugh. I humored it for the delusional presentation and then swiftly decided I had better things to do.

  45. Or the notebook. I had a relationship end and I shit you not her argument why I wasn't a good boyfriend was because I didn't build a house for her.

  46. I know a married couple through my local craft beer scene. They're in their mid-40s, she works full time in marketing, he full time in production. Both are metal heads that sport full tattooed sleeves and piercings.

  47. I have a job, but ambition and future plans? I dunno, I guess I never really planned to reach where I am right now

  48. I had a few of these and I would consistently set the standard that if they didn't specifically ask for something they didn't get it, even if I knew what it was. If I did know, I'd tell her to say it. Eventually it starts to set in that vocalizing your desires typically makes you get them so they get more confident about saying what they want. I think it's anxiety over being told no or asking and getting let down, but when they figure out that getting what they asked for is the much more likely outcome they don't hesitate as much.

  49. The self-depreciating type. “I’m shit, you deserve better, why are you with me?” Homie, idk who hurt you, but I’m not in the business of rehabilitating grown adults.

  50. Oof yeah, I was like this and it led to me sabotaging a relationship with someone i genuinely loved. It's a difficult mindset to get out of but it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it's a cop out for working on your issues.

  51. Actually had a guy that tried to convince me over and over that he was cheating on me with one of his girl acquaintances, when I knew he wasn’t. Even after telling him that I knew it was a lie, he tried more to convince.

  52. I had an ex who would argue with every single one of my friends (and be super verbally abusive) and it wasn't until after a while in the relationship I realised she did the same with me. She was super toxic but I was too stupid to realise it at the time sadly. After we split she stilled owed me money but played the "you were abusive" card with absolutely no self-awareness. I asked my current GF if I was and she said "Totally not. Fuck her with bells on".

  53. This made me think of a post I saw some time ago where this guy said he would put like $300 in a jar or whatever it was and would take out a small amount every time she pissed him off and at the end of the year, whatever's left would be his budget for her Christmas present XD It's totally awful and you shouldn't do that, but it still made me laugh

  54. I won't be surprised if I get some flak for this but, poly people. I've dated my fair share of kinksters (actually some of the best, most therapeutic relationships I've ever been in) so I like to have an open mind but man, the few poly involvements I've had have been absolute dumpster fires. The only redeeming thing I've had come out of one was that I became very sure I'm not poly.

  55. The stoner hippie that wants to spend his savings on a bus to renovate it into a tiny house and drive around the country. That's a fine dream, and he was a great person, but we did NOT mesh in our views of the future.

  56. Haha I was on a date recently and we were vibing, but then I brought up vanlife and it just instantly killed the mood, didn't even say it was a plan, just that it had always been a dream

  57. Anyone who has zero hopes, ambitions, dreams or plans for the future. Like a place they want to see, a goal they wanna achieve. I don't give a fuck if it's owning a cute cat, learning a language, travelling, it really doesn't matter as long as they at least have thought a tiny bit about what they want in the future.

  58. I dated someone who was poly and I was their "rebound" because their other person had lost interest in them. I get it. The second we split she started dating other people. She craved the attention...

  59. I'm bipolar and I'm fine 90% of the time. But even then I can just get super animated. I get it. I don't pretend I'm not annoying at times but never go super off the rails thanks to meds.

  60. Yea, I get that one. I pretty much stopped dating 12 years ago because I realized how my mental issues make me a terrible bf. No one deserves to put up with that crap.

  61. Anyone who tries to turn you against your friends or family. They’re probably trying to manipulate you, and it’s not always obvious at first when it seems like they’re just “looking out for you”

  62. Are dancers like this? I used to dance but I also do a lot of other things and prefer to do things on my own.

  63. Yup. Hardest breakups because it happens when they don't need you anymore. Or when you realize there is nothing more you Can Do to help.

  64. A camgirl. I learned fast that sex isn't everything. She was only into money. She had the personality of paper bag.

  65. Gym bro's. Like the ones that can't shut up about how much they lift and give unsolicited advise to everyone that passes by.

  66. I dated a really attractive blonde woman once. Like way out of my league pretty. She was ultra demanding. She wanted me to do everything for her, take care of all her problems, pay for everything. There was always this cloud of, if you can't do these things for me, there's a long line of guys who will.

  67. Once the boy I like invited me to his house to watch a horror movie, but while we were watching it he just kept looking at his phone and besides he kept giving me spoilers, now I hate that movie and besides I haven't gone out with him again

  68. Someone who confuses infatuation with love and is actually looking for a “mom” figure instead of a gf. Never fuckin again.

  69. I relate to this. Except he didnt have "exes." I realized that he never had a real relationship despite being a father. He would just use women to feel some love for a little bit then go about his life. Its not like he was upfront about it either. Which makes him shitty but who does he blame? Women. He can be a good superficial friend because he likes partying and he likes paying for everyone to look like the good guy but as a partner? He kinda sucks.

  70. I'm curious, what kind of details was he sharing? I admit I talk to my friends about frustrations etc. but never get in to the details. Or anything sex related.

  71. lesbian, didn't know until after 10 years and we were married. damn near killed me with all of the cheating, lying, gaslighting, emotional manipulation and not taking no for an answer. I wanted to leave after i found out that her friend was her secret lover, she begged and pleaded for me to stay and said that she was bi and just wanted to experiment. i understood that to a point, i am bi myself and was able to experiment in college and she didn't get that chance. we talked a lot and i decided to stay. it then turned into a very one sided open relationship(i didn't want to sleep around i pretty much just made friends with some other folks), i wasn't allowed to be upset or voice any of my concerns but she had veto power on who i could see..

  72. I've been married to someone who claimed lesbian, but then wasn't but was poly when we split and didn't tell me and decided to fuck two of my friends (she was a unicorn) and honestly was just a shit person... Not sure where I was going with that but I get it.

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