What's your favourite memory of our non-existent friendship?

  1. When you bought me an ice cream cone and I dropped the ice cream from my cone, and you bought me another. Then I dropped THAT one, and you bought me another. Then I dropped THAT one, and you still bought me another. That one I ate, but it ended up giving me explosive diarrhea back at your place because I didn't have the heart to tell you I am lactose intolerant. You just seemed so eager for me to try your favorite ice cream parlor.

  2. Remember that time we were laughing so hard that the soda I drank just bursted out from my nostrils and then in turn that made you laugh so much that you almost choked on your chips? So I was left with soda stains all over and you were just coughing crying laughing. Good times.

  3. I remember that time we went trick or treating and we knocked on this old guys house. He had ran out of candy so he offered us up a partially used can of powdered strawberry milk mix. You were so happy you hugged the old guy because strawberry is your favorite

  4. That time we went over to Johnny’s place and this chick she got up and slapped Johnny’s face. Aw man we just fell about the place, if she don’t wanna know forget her.

  5. I remember when we went to the theatre to watch the new Star Wars movie. You covered the tickets, I covered the popcorn and drinks. We sat down and talked about how excited we were.

  6. That time we all had a sleepover at Toms place back in college. Man we all got so drunk and we decided at 2am to go over to your crush's house so you could finally confess your love to her. But you clearly had a bit too much to drink that night since when we got there you ended up taking a shit on her driveway. We all laughed so hard. Ahh good times man good times. I miss those days.

  7. Remember that time we were doing a human pyramid on water skis, and a UFO swooped down and the aliens started cheering for us and then we serenaded all the fishes with "Don't Stop Believin''? Good times.

  8. That crazy night out where we had an exam the next morning and were just going for pizza but ended up meeting the Spice Girls in Dominos and went on the razz with them. Good times.

  9. That one time we went to that place(remember the one that random person suggested) we totally met that one guy there and he introduced us to those 2 girls who were friends of that one band that got us into that one club and we each only had 1 drink.....and then i forget the rest

  10. I just can't thank you enough for helping me dispose of the bodies. I don't even want to know where you learned that stuff. You da bestest!

  11. That one time we were running and you told me the story of your hamster getting out of its cage and eating a bag of flour and it exploded! And I died laughing and literally fell over because I couldn’t contain my laughter.

  12. "So that was you. Every time I thought I was speaking to a confused, neglected kid, it was actually you."

  13. That time we watched Nichijou together and you stayed in my house because you where being stalked by some people that you owned money.

  14. When i drunkenly stole your boat last friday night with the boys to row to a random island, pick up a crow from there and row back to dry land

  15. When we stayed at the park until dark just playing around having fun then when you went home and I went home it started to snow.

  16. Remember that time you asked me about the meaning of Christmas and I started to explain the history of Christmas beginning with the old school pagans and then I got a bit off track and started giving a passionate speech about elevator etiquette because I was still angry about you crop-dusting me that morning as you exited the elevator. Well, by the end of my speech, I had you signed up for the MLM I joined the month before.

  17. Remember that time we took a trip to Lake Powel? We tried to rent a boathouse, but the place had double booked. We decided that wouldn't ruin our vacay and found a spot by the shore, used our blankets and a couple jackets to make a hobo-chiq campsite.

  18. Seeing beastie boys at Glastonbury and my Porsche got stuck in the mud so we footed it. You met some random friend some how I ended up alone with her we fell in love and married my favorite memory though was the really big hot dog I had at glasto it had onions relish sauerkraut and mustard and was a bargain. It was a really good hot dog.

  19. When we were hanging out in one saturday in high school and out of nowhere you stood up, half-crouched, curled up your arms and threw back your head letting out the single best impression of a velociraptor I have ever heard or seen out of nowhere, sending us both into full-on belly-clenching laughs.

  20. It was a long night and we kept throwing back brewskies like we were in our twenties again. It's a shame you don't remember since you were so loaded, but swear to god we actually finished a game of monopoly from start to finish. It must've been about 4 a.m. when the last bankruptcy happened. What a night!

  21. Remember that day we had an exam in another city,by the time we came back in our city we got really tired and went out for some fast food.. Later we sat somewhere outside and just talked a little.. Then I looked at you and you knew I'm thinking something and asked what I was thinking. I kept brushing it off saying, nothing.. But you insisted and I stood up and kissed your forehead.

  22. This question reminds me of a song sung by Otis Redding in which he says "I have dreams to remember. ' Thank you for triggering that recollection for me. 🙂

  23. That night we spent in the drunk tank with two D-list celebrities and the worst Elvis impersonator in Vegas. Passing a Night Train bottle filled with purple Kool-Aid and pretending we weren't stone-cold sober ... ah, those were the days.

  24. When we went undercover to the neckbeard HQ and assassinated the leaders, only to find they were corrupted versions of ourselves? Then we escaped the fortress with angry beards throwing razor fedoras at our heads, firing their Axe deodorant tazers while chasing us?

  25. When I was trippin balls on my trampoline with my brother and my best friend, I for some reason kept on imagining sailors on a huge ship. I don't even understand what I was saying, I was just saying what I felt, and I guess I felt like a sailor.

  26. That time we were both really in the mood for chili cheese burgers from Tommy's and we only had 40 minutes for lunch and the restaurant was 23 minutes away. We made it, we got our burgers, and got back in time. We may have been licking chili off our fingers when we walked in the room.

  27. Dude, remember that time you were having a shit day so we went and got some coffee? We sat by the window and it started raining. Guess it was slippery out because we saw some rude lady yell at some kids and then slip and fall!

  28. The time you saved me from a bear attack, and carried me ten miles back to town because my leg kind of cramped up.

  29. That time we did that thing after we went to that place in that country in that day at that time on that year. Oh sorry, do you need a better description?

  30. That time you tried to confess your feelings to a pop idol, got turned down, and I had to cheer you up with ramen, and you became convinced we wee brothers for life despite having never met before, and then gave me valuable tips on hand-to-hand combat.

  31. Dude, ill never forget that time you decided to drink a 2 litre of orange fanta before going in to see Inside out. You made it a while into the movie surprisingly long but right when bing bong gets forgotten you just couldn't hold back the gas anymore and let out just... The biggest fart right after he fades away. Im not usually one for fart jokes but what got me was the "s... S... Sorry ~.~" you said right after. The fact you didn't get up and run out immediately was crazy to me but we both couldn't stop laughing even till we got out of the theater. Loved that you were comfortable with laughing with me and not getting to flustered or mad at me.

  32. When they said what they’d do if I started crying near them. I don’t trust people with my emotions and I started to trust them before they blocked me

  33. We were both eating spaghetti and telling jokes. I told you a really funny one and the spaghetti came out of your nostrils from laughing so hard. Then Cindy came in and yanked the pasta out of your nose. Oh man, that was funny 😂.

  34. When we were in line to go to the cafeteria and we started to say really crappy pick up lines that were so stupid we were dieing laughing to bad you hate me now and think ima horrible person

  35. When i was ten, a girl wrestled me to the ground and started tickling me. We were laughing so hard; we both peed our pants. she was so much fun.

  36. When you managed to flip our canoe that one trip. I mean, yeah, I lost my shirt, and you lost your flip-flops, but it wasn't a big deal, especially with the hot weather. It's honestly what you deserved after bragging about how you've never tipped, lol. I'm just glad the water was shallow and we put everything important in waterproof bags.

  37. I was freaking out about how taxes work and you took me step by step on how to commit tax fraud it was really sweet you took time out of your day to teach me a crime <3

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