People of Reddit who are in a relationship, do you still masturbate? Why (not)?

  1. Yes, because sometimes he’s not in the mood and I am. Because I can get myself off very quickly when I need the release. Sometimes I’m alone when the mood strikes and I’m impatient.

  2. Yep. Happily married, my spouse and I have fantastic sex, but we both masterbate occasionally because our libidos, schedules, health, etc. don't always line up. I also use it sometimes to relieve things like menstrual cramps or congestion.

  3. Of course, both activities are very different. I won't bother my partner just because I want to get off quick, being with someone is a whole activity and not just some three minute relief.

  4. Iv'e tried to explain that to my wife. A granola bar in the morning isn't going to make me want to skip dinner if you know what I mean haha.

  5. or you know sometimes I want to masturbate for 8 hours straight and I don't want my partner to sit through that so I just do my own thing and I obviously don't have a partner anyway

  6. I brought my wife home a new microwave and she said, "Great, just what I need, something else that heats up instantly and goes 'ding!' in thirty seconds."

  7. My husband puts it as “sex is like steak. It’s the best meal out there, but sometimes, you’re just lazy and want a hot dog.”

  8. Tryna have an honest relationship here. I have to rock one before I leave the house and she's still asleep. I can't leave the house with a loaded gun. It's just dangerous.

  9. Out of curiosity do you like, make out while you’re doing that? Or sort of just like keep each other company? I don’t think I’ve ever got to a point in a relationship where we have been comfortable enough to do this but it sounds nice

  10. Sometimes I want to relieve some stress and get off, but my partner isn't a tool with which to do so. If we're going to be intimate, I want to focus mostly on his pleasure and he focuses mostly on mine. But sometimes the focus or energy required to be a generous partner just isn't there. So I solo.

  11. If it’s been a while since we had sex, I’d pregame before the next time we have sex.. helps me as far as lasting longer lol

  12. Yeah but that output after holding it in for a few days can be impressive. It’s nice to hear the wife say wowwwwwww when you launch your baby gravy across the room.

  13. I'm scared It Will happen to me too, at First we had sex a lot, lot of time a day also, but now It's becoming more rare. I don't know if i can get over it. I'm feeling superficial

  14. Could be worthwhile getting checked for testosterone levels. I have seen a few patients with testosterone deficiency who lost their libido.

  15. Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I have a super high libido, so I'm pretty much masturbating daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. I hate bothering my husband for attention, even though I know he doesn't mind. Kinda sucks, but -shrug-

  16. if you're both happy and feel satisfied in a loving relationship then great. But this sounds pretty bad from your own words if clearly you want sex but have to resort to masturbation.

  17. When I'm having sex regularly, no. For me, regularly is 3-4 times a week. Even twice a week would be fine. Once every few months? I'm jerking off almost daily.

  18. Same boat. If the little one is sleeping regularly and wife and I are in a good place and making time 3-4 times a week I’m completely fine (takes a conscious effort to stop bating though but worth it imo). But, times like this where she had her period then got waxed then got sick… we’re going in to week 4 without intimacy and I’m knocking one out morning and night.

  19. Absolutely. Doesn’t mean I don’t prefer to have a meal with my wife instead, but since she is usually not hungry I go ahead and snack on my own.

  20. Yes and so does my SO. I encourage him to as well. I like talking to him about it. I think exploring your own body is good because then he can tell me what he likes and is in the mood for. It's good for self esteem. And it's completely natural.

  21. That sucks. During my wife's last pregnancy, She wanted sex like 4 times a day. She was super horny for several months. After she gave birth, she didn't want it for a few months.

  22. Of course. Doing it myself means I can have it when I want how I want and pretty quick. I love having sex with my husband but sometimes a lady just wants a quick and satisfying wank.

  23. I do (female) but my partner (male) doesn't. I do because sex is honestly quite painful for me, and I don't tend to enjoy it often. My partner doesn't because he likes to 'save it' for when we do have sex. But I would understand if he did want to masturbate.

  24. I (female) had the same issues and sought out pelvic floor therapy. Saved my life (and my sex life lol). Seriously changed everything for the better!

  25. Yes, we don’t see masturbation as a bad thing. Of course being able to pleasure each other is better but when you’re not together physically the masturbation is a great placeholder

  26. Yes. I cant expect my wife to drop her pants every time I feel horny. Sometimes we will hold 3ach other and masturbate together too. Fun stuff!

  27. Well we live 2-3 hours apart, so yeah. We fuck A LOT when we are together but still, two days after at most and I'm gonna be beating my meat.

  28. No i don't because i've destroyed my cock in my teens and now I'm at a good point where i can enjoy sex with my GF and i wouldn't want to destroy that intimacy that i have with her. Yeah I get horny and she might no feel the same way in the moment but i use that sexual energy and channel it into things like going to the gym or diving into hobbies or work.

  29. My partner and I have mildly different sex drives, and as not to be an absolute bother to her, I do masturbate from time to time when it’s clear I’m the only one feelin those vibes in that given moment

  30. Me and my partner are long distance, we masturbate together on FaceTime frequently. But even when we’re not on FT it’s still part of my me time 😌

  31. Almost everyday. And i encourage my partner to do the same. Perfectly healthy and natural. It's important to know your own body and what you enjoy so you can communicate that to your significant other. And them to you. So many people never get to experience the sex/lovemaking they deserve because of social hang ups.

  32. Yes. My partner and i have offset schedules and very differently demanding jobs. He's a builder and I'm a groomer. Usually he's too tired from working outside all day to have sex as often as I would like.

  33. Ehh every once in a while but not usually. If I’m horny I’ll usually wait for the boyfriend to get home, that’s way more fun and we both get to enjoy that way <3

  34. Sometimes, but not as often as when I was single. I do it mainly when I’m horny but he’s not around. I prefer actual sex of course, but sometimes you gotta scratch the itch.

  35. When I was in a relationship with my first boyfriend, he would masturbate without me because he thought his sex drive was a bit too much for me, and he hid the fact from me for a while. We discussed it and I was absolutely fine with him increasing the frequency of our sex, actually, I was all for it. It's important to discuss and keep an open mind with your partner about anything. A relationship should be defined by those in it. I didn't masturbate at all throughout that relationship, nor pretty much any of my others due to the fact that it doesn't really do anything for me.

  36. Yes. My wife will never be able to keep up with my libido. It is the only way I don't hulk rage because of my hormones. Also yes, she knows, and is supportive of me venting my frustrations in healthy ways.

  37. No two people have identical sex lives. If neither person masturbates than one person is unsatisfied and the other person is having too much sex. Often times both people can be both!

  38. Yes, because I enjoy it. Both activities are fun. My partner only enjoys doing it in front of me, I enjoy it alone.

  39. Heck yeah. My woman likes to watch. I like to watch her. Usually ends up with some oral action though. But we can give each other space for solo play too.

  40. Of course. Sometimes it just hits, sometimes it's fun to do it together. A big thing people don't realize it that sex is work and sometimes, it's legitmentally hard to put in the time to do it. Sometimes it's good to just reach the orgasm. Plus, if you don't force sex when you aren't into it, it keeps sex all that more alive when you both do want to engage

  41. Yes because im a massive horny fecker. Sometimes gf is not in the mood which is totally fine. Doesnt mean our naked cuddles and silly flirting doesn't make me massivly horny.

  42. If it’s been more than a week that we haven’t had sex then yes. Otherwise I don’t really feel the urge to.

  43. Yes, my partner does too, but we probably don't count since we're in a long distance relationship and only see each other once a month.

  44. I was married twice for a combined time of 37 years. I have experience. Straight out, it's foolish to only have orgasms, when someone else will do it for you. Believe me, a situation such as this, will never last. In my second marriage we had a good understanding about the subject. If I walked in on her masturbating, I would offer to orally finish her. Sometimes I would offer oral, and then masturbate afterwards if she was tired and had a long day. I've been watched making myself orgasm, more than once. The fewer hang-ups about the subject, the better.

  45. People who cook at home do you still eat outside? Literally the same question. Orgasms come in different flavours. Just because you can have one with someone, the ones you can have by yourself aren't something to stop desiring.

  46. Yes and so does my GF. We’ve been together for almost 8 years and I think it’s healthy to do so. We also both look at porn together. Understanding what the other person is into and not shaming or denying their wants is important to a relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to do everything they want to if you’re uncomfortable with it but it’s good to know. My GF will openly tell me if she has masterbated and if anything all it does is put me in the mood. There is also the fact that sometimes one person is ready to go but the other isn’t. There is nothing wrong with letting the other person take care of themselves if one of you isn’t feeling it right now.

  47. Of course, why wouldn’t I? Masturbation is a completely different experience from having sex with my spouse.

  48. Yeah. Long distance sucks, but even when we lived close I still would. Did it before I had a boyfriend, why would I stop because I have one?

  49. Every day. My husband is a tad older than me. I’m 40 and he is 52. My sex drive is still going really strong and his…..not so much. He is just too tired and his interest in sexy time is becoming a rare thing. He would never go for any kind of open relationship type thing, but he also doesn’t seem to want to work on his sex drive at all. So I’m just horny all the time and have nowhere to put that energy. Battery operated pleasure is pretty much all I get these days unless he is feeling particularly energized. He only really seems to get horny when I’m on my period because I’m leaking pheromones all over the place. But he thinks period sex is gross so he asks me for oral and I still get nothing. I’m lucky if I get sex once every two/three months and I get hit on constantly by strangers. Honestly it’s tempting to ask him for a more open situation but I know I’d be wasting my time doing so.

  50. I’m hyper sexual while my boyfriend works a stressful and exhausting job. It drives me crazy how much he turns me on, he won’t even be here and I’ll get riled up just by slightly getting a scent of his pillow. I let home know every time I end up masterbating, because I know for a fact it makes him happy/cocky as hell knowing he doesn’t even need to be here to get me going.

  51. My husband and I are doing ivf right now and we can't have sex for like a month... I tell him he has to masturbate cuz both of us don't have to be miserable. I love him

  52. Yes, of course. It takes two to tango. If my wife isn’t in the mood, doesn’t have the energy, on her period or sick - I go for it.

  53. Yeah, I still do. I don't get to see him that often and I have a very high sex drive. So I need to handle that manually when we're apart.

  54. Yes, when my wife was away for work, I masturbated a lot with my torso toy, Jessica from nastnova, and happily, she was not against it and encouraged me to explore more!

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