AITA for bringing my own pillow to a vacation?

  1. I bring my pillow on any trip I go on and have for years. I do not understand what the issue is 😂

  2. As far as I can see OP DID adapt! She had a problem and rather than whine and complain about it making everyone miserable, she solved the problem knowing it was hers to deal with. Sounds like the adult thing to do to me. I know a lot of people who take their own pillow when they travel. I'm one of them. I have some serious allergies and detergent residue on linens can cause a horrible rash on my face. My mom best friend,Lynda, has a back problem and takes her custom pillow with her. Lynda's has its own suitcase!!! 😁😁

  3. OP should go to Costco and buy the 4 pack of Preparation H to give her Auntie at the next family vacation while hugging her pillow!

  4. Would she also think you were "better than anyone else" if you had brought a sleeping mask? Glasses? Dandruff shampoo? Sunscreen?

  5. Sheesh, I’m turning 35 in a couple of months and I take my head pillow with me everywhere (a lot of times my body pillow too). I have chronic pain and my pillow is specifically shaped to reduce neck pain 😒 feeling some not-so-nice feelings towards OP’s aunt lol

  6. NTA. They are acting weird. I can't imagine if I brought my pillow anyone would question me as it's vacationing 101 to bring your own pillow or comfort items.

  7. You're NTA, but your aunt is. My dad and I have always packed our own pillows for vacations, even over night stays sometimes. It's pretty common actually. I even pack my own blanket. I know of people who take their own bedding. She's overreacting. You're fine.

  8. NTa. Wanting to sleep with your own pillow is not at all indicative of not making it “in the real world.” Sounds like your aunt should’ve packed her own underwear instead of wearing ones she found at the cabin. Those ones seem to get in a twist way too easily.

  9. NTA. You're adapting to the real world by bringing your pillow. Why is she trying to 'train' you? Lots of people bring their own pillows when they sleep away from home. You bringing a pillow doesn't hurt or insult her in any way.

  10. Yeah she is in the real world now. And she knows that in that world the pillows are not magically shaped for her comfort and exact wishes. So she brings her own, problem solved. She's not living in a magical fairy land but is taking responsibility in the real world. NTA

  11. NTA, I'm genuinely baffled why they even care. I bring my own pillow almost everywhere when I travel, I'd just rather not risk a shitty sleep without it, especially when I know I'm gonna be busy.

  12. NTA. Their response is so weird! It's not like its their place so you're not insulting their level of clean. It's a rental that has multiple guests. Sounds like they're being sensitive.

  13. NTA at all. It’s not strange to want your own pillow. It doesn’t inconvenience anyone else. There is something else going on with your aunt and she’s lashing out at you. I don’t know what it is but it’s not your fault, nor should she be taking it out on you.

  14. It’s a pillow! I always bring my own whether it’s to a friend’s house, hotel, or rental. It’s not unreasonable to not trust putting your face on something you don’t know where it’s been. Also, if it’s a sleep aid, you have all the more reason to bring it. At that point it’s for your health, and everyone has different needs. I use special pillows too so I don’t wake up in tons of pain. If I was told and expected to not use it, I would leave. You’re definitely NTA. You, your health, and your happiness come first.

  15. NTA. Wtf??? It’s a pillow, what drug is your family taking to think it’s insulting to bring your own pillow? If this is what upsets them then they need to sit down are revaluate their entire lives. Sheesh

  16. NTA. It's really common to take your own pillows or even favorite comfy blankets when you travel, because you can't predict whether or not you'll even be comfortable with what they have.

  17. NTA - I have to take my own pillows whenever I go to a hotel or anywhere but my bed (I even thought about sending my husband home to grab my pillows during a hospital stay a few months ago)

  18. NTA. WTF is wrong with your aunt?! Why the hell does anyone care whether you bring your own pillow? I find hotel pillows to be the thoroughly most uncomfortable things encountered on travel. Rental house pillows are usually worse.

  19. NTA - you are absolutely already making adjustments to adapt to the real world, you brought what you needed to sleep comfortably, like a grown adult tending to your own needs.

  20. NTA - it’s a damn pillow!!! Your aunt is being incredibly weird and insecure if she thinks you bringing a pillow on a trip is somehow a slight against her

  21. Methinks the aunt was probably bullied as a kid for asserting her needs as a child and now she's bullying OP as a form working through her shit.

  22. NTA. It's really an odd as hell thing for anyone to give a shite about if you bring your own pillow. It doesn't speak to how nice a place is. We all have our favorite thickness and whatever,

  23. NTA. I'm the same way. If the pillow is a standard thickness or greater, I'm going to wake up with a sore neck and headache.

  24. YNTA Everybody has that one thing that they need to sleep. Yours just happens to be a pillow. Sounds like your aunt has issues if she thinks you bringing a pillow to a cabin is an insult to her. Many cabins I've stayed at don't include a pillow or blanket.

  25. NTA- your family is being ridiculous. You need to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If you feel better bringing your own pillow in order to sleep, do it. I imagine if you stayed up half the night they would complain you are in a crappy mood the next day. This should be a non-issue- and your aunt is insulted because of whatever insecurity she has. Don’t let it bother you.

  26. NTA - You can bring whatever you want with you, even your own covers and sheets if thats what you want. I get headaches and migraines and take my 7lb Purple Harmony pillow with me any time I can when travelling. I even took it with me to Iraq and Europe.

  27. NTA probably your aunt slept like shit and she is taking it out on you because you were smart enough to take your own pillow

  28. And your aunt is not looking out for ypu....sheis just being annoying...hope ypur mom sees this masseges so she gets some common sense

  29. NTA. If possible I ALWAYS take my pillow with me on vacation. Because, yeah… it’s always going to be way better than anything provided, because it’s MY pillow. Your aunt got all weird over something so trivial.

  30. NTA. Ask if she brought her own hair products or is using the stuff that came with the place. It’s okay to have preferences. Oh and I bring my own pillow too. So do my kids. Gotta be comfortable!

  31. NTA bringing your own pillow on vacation is a great hack. Helps you sleep in the car and in your hotel. BTW only wacko would make you bring your pillow a knock on their vacation planning.

  32. NTA: I'm middle aged and travel all the time - with my blankie. I have this soft fuzzing throw blanket I always pack for all my trips. Why? It makes me comfortable.

  33. NTA. They are. I always brought blankets and pillows to sleepovers bc not everyone had extras and i didnt want to end up using my jacket or something for a blanket. Nothing wrong with coming prepared for your own wants/needs

  34. NTA - I traveled on business for over 30 years and brought my own pillow - I don’t think I’m fragile either - remind your aunt that respect us earned

  35. NTA. 98% of the time i bring my pillow with me. I couldn't care less about what anyone has to say. I feel very comfortable sleeping with my pillow and it's also very useful for road trips.

  36. Wtf. Your family are assholes. It's completely normal to bring your own pillow or heck even linens for the bed. It's your choose, not theirs. Your mom is weak.

  37. Maybe your aunt and your mother could learn to adjust to other people having their own needs and solving their own problems rather than being stuck in their own selfish, myopic minds.

  38. NTA, lots of people travel with their own pillow or other comfort items. What a strange thing for your aunt to get bent out of shape over.

  39. NTA. My bff took her pillow all the way to Italy. She takes it everywhere. I lovingly make fun of her for it, LOL, but it’s not weird at all.

  40. NTA. Oh please, I’m 46 and specially ordered a body sized cat pillow to take on my week long vacation. As long as it’s not hindering or hurting anyone, you do you. (PS the wife was just fine with that as it means that if I don’t have a body pillow to sleep with, then I have a tendency to death grip the closest thing to me, which has been her in the past, lols.)

  41. NTA. Who doesn’t bring their own pillow when they travel? My wife and I always double check to make sure we packed our pillows. Your cousins sound exhausting and your aunt sounds downright mean. Why the hell does she care where you choose to lay your head down? That shits between you and God. She can fuck off.

  42. NTA.... I'm in my 40s and I still prefer to take my pillow with me when we go on trips. It's how I was raised. You never knew west the pillows were going to be like so better just to bring your own.

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  44. NTA Since I was a around 13-14 I always took my own own pillow with me to be able to sleep better, since also it not always the pillow at the place I'm staying have good pillows

  45. NTA. People bring anything that makes them comfortable all the time whether its pillows, blankets, towels, or slippers. Those are provided by the hotel too, but people still opt to use their own?

  46. NTA. People bring anything that makes them comfortable all the time whether its pillows, blankets, towels, or slippers. Those are provided by the hotel too, but people still opt to use their own?

  47. NTA, the easy answer was, I appreciate this opportunity, however, my pillow is non negotiable and let it end there, if someone continues, leave the room.

  48. NTA. You understand your needs and ensured that you met them yourself. You made no demands on others to cater to you. This is not the action of someone who is spoiled. And your aunt really couldn’t have been sure the place would suit you, and she would probably complain if you did make any requests.

  49. NTA. I bring two pillows with me when I go on vacation if possible. I'm in the same boat as you. Your mom and aunt are really assholes though. I don't understand why it's a big deal or an issue at all.

  50. Your aunt is looking out for you by putting her pride before your health? What the hell, NTA. You absolutely can live in this particular bubble everywhere, I don't think my cousins have taken a single vacation or overnight trip in their entire lives they didn't bring their own pillows on. It's odd/atypical, sure, but far from rude!

  51. NTA. I travel with my own pillow too, I get severe headaches with most pillows. I have a sleeping bag compression bag I use for travel so it takes up less space. So use what helps you get better quality rest.

  52. NTA I’ve learned to always take my own pillow when I travel. God only knows what weirdo pillow one is going to end up with otherwise.

  53. NTA. I know a ton of people that, much like yourself, have issues sleeping elsewhere and using their own pillow helps make sleep less like a chore and more possible.

  54. NTA and now that I think about, I don't think I know anyone who doesn't travel with their own pillow, not all of them are created equally, and it just makes sense to want to sleep comfortably in a new place.

  55. I literally just went om holiday and brought my own pillow lol. Good thing I did ! 5he pillows we got were way too big, almost broke my neck ! Op you are NTA Not sure what issue your aunt has

  56. NTA. I bring my own pillow anywhere I go overnight. I just sleep better with my own pillow. Nobody has ever questioned me on it.

  57. NTA. 27F here and I take my own pillow places where I'll end up sleeping too. Sometimes 2 pillows. They're comfy and smell like home.

  58. NTA. "Adapt to the real world," my ass. My girlfriend and I have been all over the eastern US in the last three years (she's a travel nurse) and we absolutely brought our own pillows. Doesn't matter how nice the hotel (or cabin) is, the pillows are always either too tall or too short for my weird neck.

  59. i always take my own pillow. I put it in a ugly pink pillowcase. Just to make sure no one moves in from my bed, and that I do not forget it. :-)

  60. NTA. My kids and I all bring our own pillows and blankets on trips because we like to be comfortable. It doesn’t matter how nice the place is—we all have favorite pillows, and we all like blankets in the car/an extra blanket in the hotel.

  61. Please tell auntie some ppl bring their own sheets to hotels, and there are bigger issues in life than traveling with your own pillow, which is perfectly normal.

  62. has your family never travelled anywhere before? taking your own pillows and blankets is the norm. a lot of people don’t want to sleep on common used pillows. tell your aunt to grow up. NTA.

  63. I’m reading this while on vacay with my head resting on my pillow from home. Your aunt and mom are bonkers. Taking a Personal pillow on one’s travels is not unusual.

  64. NTA, I bring my own pillow quite often. In fact, I like to sleep with multiple pillows so I'll sometimes bring a couple in case there is a shortage. Lol

  65. I have an Isotonic pillow that goes with me everywhere I stay over. I have sleep issues due to past neck injuries and this pillow helps 100% of the time for me to be able to sleep in comfort. NOT THE AH, OP.

  66. NTA. My husband and I both bring our own pillows whenever possible. My husband’s biggest complaint about traveling is that the pillows aren’t firm enough. Your aunt needs to learn to mind her own business.

  67. NTA- I take my own pillow whenever I am spending on the night anywhere. My whole family does the same thing.

  68. I take my pillow with me whenever I’m going to be gone overnight, and know other people who do the same. It isn’t that uncommon.

  69. I'm currently visiting my family in my family home. This is where I grew up. I live across the country and am staying here for two weeks. To recap: Home I grew up in, with my parents, for a length of time that should have no trouble to get used to another pillow.

  70. NTA they created too much drama over a pillow. I bring mine to my daughters’ homes if I stay more than a couple of nights. They have plenty of pillows of all types, I just prefer my own. They couldn’t care less. If baggage fees weren’t so ridiculous I’d make room for it when I travel!

  71. I bring my own pillow when I travel on vacation and it made so I don’t raise my shoulders and kill my neck when sleeping. I also have trouble sleeping any way. To me it’s normal

  72. JFC it's a pillow. I have a hiatal hernia and thus a wedge pillow which I need to not checks notes Oh, yeah, not choke and die in my sleep. Would I be "insulting" this woman's judgment, too?

  73. NTA- I stayed the night at a hotel recently. The pillows sucked and I woke up with terrible neck pain. My neck was stiff and uncomfortable for the rest of the day. You were just ensuring that you would sleep better and be able to enjoy your vacation. This is a weird thing for something to get offended over.

  74. I work a mobile clinic job. I spend a lot of nights in hotel rooms for work. I always bring my own pillow and a soft blanket everywhere I go. It’s not about trusting people or not trusting them, it’s about knowing how you best fall asleep and taking care of yourself. NTA. It’s really weird for your aunt to have a problem with it.

  75. This right here is why I interact with people as little as possible. I just can't take people starting crap over everything. You brought pillows on vacation. We did that all the time when I was younger.

  76. NTA, I take my pillow on holiday with me. I hate big fluffy pillows they make my neck sore. My normal pillows are old af, and really flat. I can't not stand a big pillow and if I have one I can't sleep and then my neck is sore all day and im tired and cranky.

  77. NTA! We bring our own blanket and pillows when we travel. My mom brought her own blanket when we road tripped. When I went out of the country with my mom, I had my own pillow and blanket with me and it proved to be very useful while my cousins laughed at me about it. Guess who needed a pillow during our road trips?

  78. NTA. It'd be one thing if you brought a pillow AND a sleeping bag AND an air mattress, kind of implying you didn't trust she could pick a clean place. Or that you were "too good" to share a bed even though everyone else is okay with it (tho honestly, if you were not comfortable, that's perfectly fine. I'm pretty chill about bed sharing when space or money is tight, but I'd be weirded out if someone was trying to force/expect me to share with cousins at that age).

  79. Nta. I bring my own pillows and blankets. Pack what makes you comfortable. Your aunt is just the type of person who wants to get butt hurt about nothing concerning her.

  80. NTA. Auntie has a big chip on her shoulder. If you brought the pillow to her house, it still wouldn't be right for her to take that attitude, but it would at least be a little more understandable. But this is a commercial property. Why the hell would she take it personally that you are more comfortable with your own pillow?

  81. Oh good grief. Your aunt is ridiculous to take this personally. I am 42 and take my pillow on all my trips. I have neck and jaw problems and will have migraines without it. I seriously doubt she confirmed the firmness and make of the pillows of the place she booked. You didn’t ask for special treatment- you packed and brought what you needed for your own comfort. Neither your aunt nor your mother were “looking out for you” and you absolutely do not have to treat someone who is mocking and bullying you with respect!!

  82. NTA It’s not only about comfort. Pillows are so dirty. Skin cells and oils and saliva. Washing the case doesn’t fix it. I would rather bring my own pillow EVERYWHERE than sleep in a bunch of other people’s germs

  83. NTA I think what happens sometimes is that many people never speak up for themselves. Many people will go on a trip like this and just suffer, because they are afraid to say or do the things that would make them comfortable. These kinds of people expect everyone else to be the same way. Your aunt is one of these people. But there are other kinds of people. These kinds of people WILL speak up, and they WILL do things to make themselves more comfortable. You are one of these people, and I think your aunt resents it. I feel sad for her. Imagine going through life so devoted to conformity that something as simple as a person using a different pillow sets you off!

  84. NTA. I bring my own pillow to most places I’m going to sleep at. You’re used to it. I don’t see how it was such a big deal. It’s not like you brought a mattress pad, a weighted blanket, a heated blanket, a body pillow, and your head pillow. Your aunt is a little dramatic

  85. NTA - the real world & being an adult means you can do what you want and need to be comfortable. Like bring a specialty item so you can sleep properly. You aren't a princess, you're adapting to your surroundings.

  86. NTA. Preferring your own stuff (sheets, pillows, blankets, soap, etc) is perfectly normal. I always take my own pillow, because hotel pillows make my neck hurt and my jaw pop. It’s not about being better than anyone else. It’s about being comfortable. You’re entitled to be comfortable on your vacation. Your aunt is an ass.

  87. I totally pack my own pillow ALL the time - no one has ever questioned me and frankly if they did, I’d be like, you do know that what I do in my bed is my private business? - nta at all -

  88. NTA. Unsure what mental gumnastics she has going on to extrapolate bringing a pillow into "Don't you trust me? "Do you think you're better than everyone else?" and "Princess in a Bubble"?

  89. We have traveled all over the world WITH OUR PILLOWS. Planes, boats, trains, you name it; if we were sleeping over, our pillows are with us. I even have special pillowcases for them so they cannot be confused with hotel pillows by the maids. NTA in the slightest.

  90. NTA, I almost always pack my pillow when traveling. I, like you, have a very hard time falling asleep without it. Aunt needs to mind her own business.

  91. NTA. Your aunt has her ego bound up in controlling the family vacation experience, and you pierced that bubble by taking care of yourself. It’s fairly disturbing that your mom sided with her tbh.

  92. NTA, Jesus Christ. I bring my pillow along due to similar sleep issues, it’s perfectly normal to manage your health and comfort as you can’t expect a rental or hotel to cater to everyone’s needs all the time, especially when the issue is easily managed without fuss.

  93. NTA I am unexpectedly staying at my parents and sleeping horribly because while the bed is fine it’s not my bed, with my pillows, blankets etc. Seriously putting together a click and collect order to make the bed I’m in closer to my bed (no idea when I’ll be able to sleep in my own bed). Flat out told my Dad what I was thinking of doing and he whole-heartedly approved (particularly since I can leave it here for the next time I’m unexpectedly staying here, or guests can use it) since he can see I’m not sleeping properly and it’s not solely to do with the reason I’m here

  94. NTA, your aunt picked a weird thing to get upset about. I always bring my own pillow with me if it's an option since I sleep better with my own comfortably broken in pillow as opposed to whatever random pillow a hotel might have. I do not understand the obsession hotels have with down pillows, they do nothing! No support whatsoever and they make my head hot. Bringing one's own pillow is a pretty common thing.

  95. NTA but your family is being ridiculous. I often bring my own pillow on trips because my skin is sensitive to scented detergents and softeners, so I'd rather not have allergy zits or a rash on my face. Nothing wrong with wanting to sleep better.

  96. I bring my pillow on vacation all the time, and I’m not the only one. My grandma uses the same type of pillow and brings hers too. They are filled with fill, and always retain their shape.

  97. I have been bringing my pillows (and occasionally forgetting them) on all my vacations and trips and overnight stays for a good ten years now if not more. When I finally discovered the pillow that was comfortable for me, I swore to never go without. There's even places like my parents' house that I've simply bought pillows to stay there so when I visit I already know I'll have a comfy pillow to sleep on.

  98. Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous! Your Aunt has some serious issues if this has made her mad. Me and hubby have learned to take our pillows with us as we are pillow/sleep snobs too. NTA

  99. Lol nta at all wtf. Pick something random shes bringing and just go all out. OOH YOURE BRINGING TOOTH PASTE YOUR MAJESTY? IM SHOCKED THINE FINE CUSPIDS REQUIRE DAILY CLEANSING

  100. NTA. If bringing your own custom-made pillow because you know youll have trouble sleeping isnt adjusting i dont know what is? I hate old people and their views of "if you dont sit here and suffer youre not actually grown"

  101. NTA your aunt is being ridiculous. You didn't bring your own pillow as a slight on her. You brought it because experience has taught you that almost nowhere has suitable pillows for you and you correctly assessed it was more reasonable to being your own than demand the entire accommodation be catered around your pillow. Your mom is spewing toxic respect culture about age and enabling your aunt in dangerous levels of low self worth.

  102. My family has brought our pillows on every vacation of my life. Now that I'm chronically ill I go all out, currently camping for two weeks in a cabin and I brought a memory foam pad, sheets, two blankets and 3 pillows.

  103. NTA, my wife always brings her own pillow on holiday, even to the more expensive hotels. It helps her sleep better. It says nothing about the judgement about the person who booked the accommodation.

  104. NTA. Your aunt is TA and is unhinged. You are absolutely allowed to bring your own pillow. Alot of people with chronic pain and sleep issues do. Your aunts unhinged and angry reaction to you bring a pillow was verbally abusive, disrespectful, ridiculous and I would never go on vacation with her again. Your mother is wrong, your aunt wasn’t looking out for you, she was inappropriately angry and degrading you for your simple act of self care. You did nothing disrespectful. Your mother wrong for pressuring you to apologize to this terrible aunt.

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