xkdchickadee







xkdchickadee

Staring into the abyss and it's staring right back

Are you being serious right now?

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.




















  1. I know I'm super late on this but I think the response you had ready (in times where he's not sick) is perfect. Him being sick, feeling miserable, & not feeling good about himself isn't an excuse for him to verbally lash out at you. Whatever issues he has going on is a HIM problem & has nothing to do with you. It's not right for him to speak to you that way. Also, the threatening to not visit you thing is so damn immature & I would honestly call it out for the manipulation that it is. "Okay, if you're not in the mood to come visit me I understand. See you next time." & Hang up. I bet he'll stop once you take that threat away.

  2. Thanks! He ended up calling the next day and apologizing, acknowledging that how he behaved was not okay. I did also end up telling him I will hang up next time if he tried it again and he agreed that was fair.

  3. I don't think this has anything to do with your partner's health really, but it's about how you communicate in general together.

  4. I mean, I literally put what I said in quotes. Not sure what info you are missing.

  5. He has… :( she says back “but it’s a COMMANDMENT to honor your mother and father!”

  6. With kindness and grace at the forefront, I would have one of your boundaries being that she participate in therapy. Others have laid out good examples as well.

  7. INFO: Your dad is not an outsider. Have you told him that if HE ensures that the house is clean, the kids can come visit?

  8. It feels silly and unfair to everyone. I just wish there was a right answer, ya know?

  9. Wouldn't the right answer be going on anti anxiety medication if non medical routes don't work?

  10. I think if you want to change the narrative for your son at least you can add to the song, stating that grandma, grandpa. Mommy, daddy, auntie, pet, and XZY love them the most in the whole world. Or instead of singing, asking the question "Who love you the most in the whole world?" And then asking "And?" after each name also gets the point across. Reframing it so your kid can realize the are surrounded by love can only be helpful. If GMA pushes back against the addition, I would drag them back to family therapy.

  11. YTA for your comments that your sister was not a supportive partner. I'm sorry that you "can't imagine" a supportive partner still drinking around someone struggling, but literally there's plenty of couples who use that model.. A public example would be, dax shepherd and Kristen Bell. He was over a decade sober she inquired about going on mushrooms, and he arranged the trip for her source the ingredients help manage her experience and afterwards. He then went on to break his sobriety through pain pills. He took Full responsibility for the relapse and never once insinuated that his partner's life style contributed to his relapse.

  12. If you don't report him and ensure that this youth who trusts you never runs into him again, YTA.

  13. Keep in mind, this was its own post, so I’m sorry it’s long. I started typing a new comment to make it more concise, but it was triggering having to relive it all. This a part from what I deleted previously.

  14. I am so sorry for your experiences. I hope marriage counseling continues to go well and hopefully DH enrolls in some individual counseling to process what likely is a lifetime of trauma.

  15. Was previously friendly. Having a joint family vacation at Christmas. Language barriers help keep the convos light and small talk focused. Didn't talk about SO, which may help for you.

  16. Ugh that’s so shitty I’m sorry. I have that problem with my mom. She also puts him on a pedestal. Not that he’s not great. He’s the best but I’d say I’m pretty great too? Idk.

  17. I get it. Literally at a certain point, he just frames it as ,"xkcdchickadee thinks doing X would be good." And nine time out of ten they go for it.

  18. You don't have to be bffs, but I find it helpful to pretend that they are a high school teacher you ran into after some time. One you pleasantly vaguely remember and are happy to do a quick catch up on without getting too personal.

  19. YTA because of your last half of your last sentence: "because there was no guarantee of return for this money."

  20. Have some headphones in to listen to something soothing for you and ignore.

  21. Also, Xanax is wonderful, highly recommended with a Dr's permission

  22. MIL never sees any of your children until she can sincerely and genuinely say "I was absolutely wrong in saying that I won't consider your children, regardless of how they came to be your children, to be my grandchildren. I am so thankful you two have children and I welcome them with open arms."

  23. Yeah, it would pretty much take that for me to consider it. I had a dream last night where SO and I decided that we would tell her that all kids are adopted and hide any pregnancies I have. Which now that I am awake and pretty much off social media, seems potentially doable.

  24. Thanks for the advice! Stunned but not surprised pretty much sums it up. SO is inheriting the family business, so I expected strings to pop up eventually, just didn't see it coming from her and about this.

  25. Legally, your husband doesn't owe anything from before he was 18 years old. Nor can you pay them back for something that they didnt pay for themselves. If you believe any of the other debts are valid, then you both need to draw up a contract at a reasonable payment schedule and if they don't agree, you can take them to small claims court if it is under the threshold for your state and have a judge sort it out. Debts are not debts if they provided funds/items and did not specify at the time of giving that repayment was required,btw.

  26. Just re-read the advice you are actually asking for. I don't know your in laws, but you were very factual and calm about their money challenges (contested will, late rent payments, etc). If possible, have a calm conversation acknowledging the debts that you feel are valid and explain why are not able to repay by the date they require, but your happy to pay X per month. Reiterate that you know times are tough, based on what they've told you about their struggles and that you literally cannot pay more than X and if you have to move out because of that you understand, though you will only be able to afford Y after moving costs.

  27. INFO: If you've lost all attraction, why are you staying with him?

  28. NTA. I'd ask him to cite his sources or to be quiet.

  29. NTA. I don't know why everyone is assuming what they are. Texas also just made it possible for parents to lose their child if they give their child gender affirming care. OP's daughter could be trans.

  30. It was sexist because the father assumed that the only thing a conventially attractive woman looked for in a partner was financial security.

  31. INFO: Do you typically get family members small gifts at birthday and holidays and the like? Not saying you need to get a card, but most aunts/uncles in my family would send a physical card and a bracelet or a book I like or something.

  32. INFO: You say you both live in the house and that there is a house savings fund. Does he contribute to that fund?

  33. He does not contribute to this fund. This is money I’ve set aside myself.

  34. Then NTA. Though if he is complaining about it not being his 'house' perhaps you guys should sit down and budget it out together? Not saying completely merge finances, but have a healthy discussion about how much the house-related costs are and set up joint account for housing expenses.

  35. Nope, NTA though I can see why some people would cringe at you explaining that you NEED a whole room just for your cats.

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