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  1. Absolutely. When I got covid my Narc "also" got covid..except he was just "super tired" whereas I legit had a fever, runny nose, etc. Same thing happened when I got the flu a few years back. It can never just be me who is sick.

  2. Exactly 💯 He used me to get back into a circle of friends that had kept him at a distance. They started to hang out with us because they particularly wanted to hang out with me because I was so much fun and he wasn't. He was always miserable and so when he started realizing that we were having a lot of fun together without him when we would all hang out, he started making me miserable at those outings too so that I wouldn't feel comfortable hanging out anymore. At one point he even started constantly teasing me about how "popular" I was getting, and it sounded like he was jealous. I was making friends all the time and he wasn't, but I now know why. At first I thought people just weren't giving him a chance, but now I know is that they knew better and could tell that he truly was not a good person.

  3. My Narc is pretty charming to most people, so he's ok if I am with him with friends of his or anyone he met before me.

  4. Was searching for a topic like this and glad this is only a week old post.

  5. The underwear thing omg they did the same to me, my mother would just go through my closet and throw away whatever she deemed too provocative (= black shirts, skirts...) and replace them with children-like clothes and underwear. I have to hide my period too, I can't even talk about the pain. And when I used to have a boyfriend she told me over and over that he didn't care about me but only used me as a sexual object. I'm glad you are able to not care, I'm still stuck in selfshame sadly

  6. When I was in high school and finally had my own money from working part time jobs I'd buy black underwear...not because I was having sex but because it was easier to remove period stains from them!!

  7. When I realized I had been dating a covert Narc who had sucked everything out of me, including my looks. I already had a low self esteem prior to us dating, and while I wasn't considered super beautiful or anything before I dated him, I was considered cute. After we got together, I became so depressed I started drinking almost every day and solely eating greasy foods, so I gained 30 pounds (and I am the type to have my weight go to my stomach, arms and face) and my skin went to shit.

  8. Yep. It's wild to actually see that there is a word for what I was doing this whole time. My motivation was to just keep them off my back and not have to deal with their backhanded judgement and passive aggressive commentary and controlling manipulations. They've never said a word about it.

  9. Hahah yep way too familiar with this one! If I don't give my absolute, full, undivided attention he has a meltdown.

  10. My narc has blue eyes and while they aren't dark, they can be ice cold.

  11. Nope and that was probably the first sign/ red flag of him being a Narc. Became obvious once we moved in together after a year of dating.

  12. I've always been an introvert but after locking down for Covid from 2020-2021 I need even more alone time now than prior. Like, I can easily go an entire week without leaving my house except for walking my dog and going to the grocery store. Beforehand, I'd usually want to see friends at least once a week.

  13. mine NEVER did. i would consult confront him about his mistreatment or neglect, and he would always ignore me, have some excuse, or profusely apologize and scream and cry to prove how “sorry” he was (this was a forced act in order to make the conversation go away). i desperately wanted some sort of conversation with him where we both talked about our feelings, but it always ended with me pouring my heart out and him doing nothing.

  14. Mine is even good at having discussions, talking about feelings, crying, promising he'll change and work on these behaviors in therapy.....and yet nothing ever changes. He's still jealous. He still doesn't partake in housework. Still only talks about himself.

  15. Exercising, taking long walks, seeing friends, having a hobby that gets me out of the house, cooking.

  16. A few years ago I somehow ended up in an Astral Location I clearly recognized. This was the third time in the last five years that I have visited this same location. It is extremely weird, sleazy and creepy. But is a strangely interesting place they call "El Cajones".

  17. I've been to El Cajones though I never heard it by that name. But know exactly what you mean, it's like a sleazy desert carnival

  18. Yep, minus the kids I'm pretty sure I've said almost the exact same things to mine. Some others:

  19. With friends like that who needs friends? But for real, life is too short to waste on people who don't love your authentic self.

  20. I said a few things to her at the end, basically how self absorbed and self centred she was. But the one that I remember saying because it'd been in my head for sometime was "Your ego writes cheques your attitude and personality can't cash". I first remember thinking that when I noticed how entitled she was, but treated everyone close to her so poorly. I don't regret saying it, but I know she'll spend no thought or time reflecting on it it all, it was purely to make me feel better.

  21. Honestly, it's been very difficult for me to deal with a covert narc because there are lots of signs that people typically discuss about their relationships that don't necessarily apply to the person I was with, which makes it really easy to gaslight myself and doubt that I was even abused.

  22. Same.. in moments when I was sad (nothing to do with him), he would still not provide the basic standard of care , he would just ‘ be there ‘ usually silent, making me feel worse and empty, grasping for breadcrumbs.

  23. Absolutely. The thing that really fucks me up is that mine could sometimes employ cognitive empathy and be seemingly supportive and even say some helpful things. Then in other times be completely blank and emotionless. Or just go "that sucks" and not saying anything beyond that. The one time I brought up, like hey could you try and ask if I need support? He just stared at me with the Narc stare/ sanpaku eyes for a good minute until he "apologized" and said he would try harder.

  24. I had that sick, unnerved, "butterfly" feeling for the entirety of our relationship, even when he texted me.

  25. I know now that our bodies and subconscious are a lot more aligned than we realize

  26. Did anyone wake up super early this morning (Sept. 1st)? Like around 4-6 am? I did and felt super energized and not tired at all, so basically just started my day early. Had another friend have the same thing happen to him.

  27. Did you do anything different than usual? Go to sleep earlier, eat dinner earlier in the day, cut out caffeine, put phone away earlier, sleep without background noise?

  28. I can honestly say no, had the same weeknight routine as always

  29. Oh I can assure you, my Narc loves coming at me with lust. Especially at inappropriate times...for example, recently we had yet another fight due to his shit N behavior and after we "reconciled" he immediately goes into lust mode, trying to sleep with me and commenting on my body and how sexy he finds me.

  30. I cannot believe you also know that beach strip, that’s wild!!! If I return I will look for that skate park. I’ve never been able to lucid dream at will but it seems to always happen in situations where I wake up in the middle off the night (like last night I woke up at 1am) and then go back to bed. The lucid dreams then happen in the early morning dreams.

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