raisedbynthrowaway85


















raisedbynthrowaway85

When a thing immediately combusts your brain. Gives %{coin_symbol}100 Coins to both the author and the community.

When you come across a feel-good thing.

Shows the Silver Award... and that's it.









  1. Yes, very good tactics to use for setting boundaries! I'm trying to say that if I try to set any boundaries then it's just basically used as a weapon against me. When I would pull back and go with the second part (the leaving or not answering )they would be down right giddy for getting me to that level. No boundary will control them. Especially from their dumbass daughter. (That's what I presume they say in their heads)

  2. Yeah I get what you mean, but I'm saying a boundary isn't supposed to control them. It's supposed to control you. Who cares if they're giddy because you blocked their number? If you get to have peace, it's worth it. These are steps towards cutting them out so you can just be free. They can feel however they want, but it doesn't have to affect you

  3. Dang, I'm sorry. That sucks. My sister has some narc tendencies but isn't this bad. Your sister sounds full blown, sadly. I'd try to move yourself into the mindset that none of these people can be relied upon for kindness, companionship, or even a stable relationship. Make decisions and enact boundaries that serve you and let the cards fall where they may. You cannot control or change anyone - certainly not a narc

  4. My main thought would be to wonder what exactly they wanted. This person hasn't spoken to you in almost ten years, and now suddenly, today - not yesterday, not last week, but today - here they are. They're not calling because they want to chat. There's an agenda of some kind.

  5. I love "what is this about?" As a reply. And agree that this person probably wants money.

  6. Yeah. My nmother still talks to her psychotic sister who accused my husband of being a pedophile and insinuated we were political terrorists for not voting for trump.

  7. I don't think I could ever scream in the face of a crying child, "STOP CRYING," over and over again, or threaten to hit them, or mock them crying in a disgusting and cartoonishly exaggerated way.

  8. I'm so sorry this happened to you :( I especially don't understand parents shaming their children for their size when they're the ones giving you food. Even if you legitimately overweight, how else would you have gotten there?

  9. Yes. Yes. Yes. She uncomfortable because you're not all on edge around her. She's uncomfortable because you're more comfortable. Keep it up

  10. What a gross string of messages. This person is so creepy and vile. sorry you have to deal with this.

  11. Voting has concluded. Final vote:

  12. I was told "he's pretty cute. You should lose some weight or he's definitely going to break up with you." Lmao

  13. What I did was just continue to hold and enforce my boundaries until it drove her insane.

  14. Yeah my nmother is very much like this. When we were kids she used to sit us down and say "WHO DO BOYS MARRY?" and we had to answer "girls" or vice versa. It was like a random monthly pop quiz for awhile there, thinking she could train any traces of gayness out of her 7 year olds or something.

  15. Oh god, I'm so sorry to hear about your sister along with all of this. What a disgusting mother. She sounds so dangerous and I'm SO GLAD you're free.

  16. My nmother had an nfather, and while he was mostly around he was an unholy, evil, abusive terror. She always, ALWAYS reverts to this. When I went NC she immediately called my sister and explained that she had so much trauma from her dad, and "at least she's never done anything like that to me." Lol

  17. Of course. In a way, it's almost their whole thing. They cannot stand to see others experience joy, love, or most importantly attention because they think they deserve it more and you getting it is unfair.

  18. Congrats! I Agree with the other commenters that you should start the move, or even complete it, and then tell them. And as far as "dealing with their reactions" I say- don't! This is a great opportunity to set hard boundaries and might even result in them breaking contact with you.

  19. Yea going to threaten me until he gets his way but he’s out of stuff to threaten

  20. So, if youve moved away on a whim you seem really serious about this. Why not block him and move on unless and until something comes up? Sounds like he can't do anything to you

  21. Okay so it sounds like you're scared which makes sense, he's probably instilled a lot of fear in you. But truthfully you only have two options; block, or be threatened constantly. I would choose to block. You'll probably be scared and guilty for 1-2 weeks and then it'll start to lighten up.

  22. I have never heard of that one. Could you give a little more info on that one?

  23. Look up "fake GPS" on the app store. Something should come up. It'll let you drop a pin anywhere you want to make it look like you're there. You can't use other location services (like GPS) at the same time though, I don't think. Make sure to hide the app icon on your phone so she doesn't see it.

  24. Voting has concluded. Final vote:

  25. Honestly this post and the comments concern me for your mental health. But if what you're saying is true, buy a door stopper. There's absolutely no reason you shouldn't be able to use that.

  26. I'm talking about one of those wedge door stops. You can jam it into the bottom of your door while it's closed from the inside, and people on the other side will have difficulty opening it even if it's unlocked.

  27. I believe so. I think a weak willed person (which enablers often are) can fall victim to the delusions of a narc, and can easily take on their mannerisms and behavior.

  28. My nmother has some pretty serious childhood trauma that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I know another narc parent who doesnt have a trauma history, but here's the catch: being spoiled, coddled, and given gifts in place of actual present and loving parenting, is still really shitty/abusive. Many of them are like that, they got every material item they ever wanted, but were never really bonded by parent/child unconditional love.

  29. You know what's funny? I almost NEVER see this reaction with content for other personality disorders. If someone ever tells me "well I have NPD and this offends me" id love to reply "yeah, I can tell you have NPD because I'm speaking about MY personal abuse and you, a stranger, decided to find a way to make yourself the victim. work on that."

  30. Jesus Christ that is... Abhorrent, pervy, VILE behavior. To say that to a teenager, I seriously feel ill. Disgusting on their part. I'm so sorry you had to deal with people who enjoyed shaming and embarrassing you. I hope you're far away from them now.

  31. Whether or not it's useful is entirely up to you, because they almost certainly won't react in a positive or meaningful way. When I went NC with my nmother I felt like I needed to establish it clearly, so I drafted a really long letter outlining my issues of how she'd hurt me. Over the course of 1-2 weeks I slowly whittled it down, realizing that she didn't deserve all of these explanations and would reject them anyway. What I ended up sending basically boiled down to "Im not willing to live in a state of constant conflict with you. Please leave me alone." And I'm glad it was that short and sweet.

  32. Yes. Oh my god, yes. It used to be moderate- she'd call and I'd feel some stress. Whatever. It wasn't THAT different than the stress I used to feel when I heard her walk in the house when I was a kid.

  33. I’m glad you’re feeling better! The way she treated you was awful!! My nmom doesn’t scream at me but somehow the effect is still the same. It’s usually the condescending tone that gets me. It’s like she’s asking normal questions but in such a condescending way. And then any answer I give is criticized. And dad is just pushy and demands I do stuff for them cause if I don’t their “downfall” will be my fault. And of course, I get the half hour lectures on how to live then followed up by questions to find out if I’ve been living like they think I should

  34. I think those scenarios would be just as anxiety inducing! Entering into any conversation knowing it's going to be highly unpleasant and make you feel bad is difficult. I'm sorry youre going through it.

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